Wendy's Wall

Tis the season

2011-12-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

Two Christmases ago, I was sweating in the Amazon jungle. Miserable, not able to find joy. Missing a dear friend, who had gone home because of a heartbreaking situation. Not able to find the meaning. Missing the biting wind, the smell of Christmas trees, and pumpkin pie; Christmas cookies, and Bing Crosby softly singing in the background. I ached over not being home, where it felt like Christmas. Desperately wanting to sing Christmas hymns in church, and frustrated that no one there seemed to even notice that we should be celebrating. And I was angry. Angry that God had brought me there, angry that He had allowed my friend to be so hurt, that she needed to go home. Angry that I was so far from my family. So very angry. I did not feel any joy.
And even when I received a wonderful package from home, with a DVD in which my Dad read me Luke 2 in KJV, a tradition in our house; even while there were tears streaming down my face, they were not tears of repentance, or joy, they were tears of pity. Pity for myself.
Last year, I was so happy to be home, so thankful that our wedding was around the corner, so excited to participate in all of the Christmas traditions, that was really all I cared about. I prayed for snow, because I wanted a white Christmas to make it truly feel like the season. How very selfish and sinful of me.
This year, I began listening to Christmas music early, as usual. But God was not going to let me get away with another Christmas, that was all about me. My husband mentioned something to me, something simple, that we had discussed before. We may not always live in Idaho. We do not know the plans that God has for us. It could be moving to a foreign country again. Amazing how God can use something we had discussed so many times before, to open my eyes. I began to think about raising our future children in Africa, as that is the place we have discussed the most. And I liked the idea, but I was bothered that my children would not get to experience the traditions that I did. The "magic" of the Christmas season. The decorated stores, and the glowing trees, the eggnog, and Christmas music. All of the traditions, that WERE Christmas to me. And suddenly, my eyes were opened. As much as I hold those traditions dear to my heart, they are not what Christmas is about. How blind of me. How many times have I watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and heard Linus recite Luke 2, and tell Charlie Brown "that's what Christmas is all about" and yet, I never saw. Not with my heart.
How arrogant of me, to think that Christmas is about traditions, and feeling comfort in them. CHRISTmas is all about CHRIST. All about a God who loved us so much, that he sent His only son to live among us lowly humans. To live only for the purpose of dying. And it breaks my heart, that I could have believed other wise. He is the reason. Christ, and Christ alone. And to focus on anything else, is sin.
Traditions, are not wrong in and of themselves. It is my sinful heart, that makes them an idol. And oh how I idolized them. How deep the pain is now, when I realize just what I believed. That Jesus sacrificing everything, to come live among us, and die for us, was not as important, as my stupid, trivial traditions. And there I through myself on the ground, ashamed, that I too, have betrayed Christ, a thousand times. How terrible of a sinner am I.
But God did not allow me to stay on my knees, full of shame. The very reason we celebrate Christmas, JESUS, He is the reason that I am forgiven, that God looks at me, and sees Christ's perfect life; His righteousness is imputed to me. What joy! That is why we celebrate Christmas! And that is what I will be praying for this season. That God would give me grace to see, and remember, and purpose to celebrate Christ's birth, and sacrifice for us. I pray that God would fill me with such joy, and thankfulness, that I cannot help but celebrate. I pray that He would be gracious, and fill me with so much love for my savior that I will not remain silent, but that wherever I go, I will speak of the love of Christ, and preach His gospel. For He is the Good News.
Thank you Father, for sending your son to us. Thank you for being gracious with me, and for always changing my heart, a little at a time, to be ever so slightly more like Christ. Thank you for your Grace and Mercy. Thank you for your Love.

"Joy to the world, the Lord has come!
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart, prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing!"

Keys!!

2011-11-23T08:49:00.001-08:00

WE GOT KEYS!!!!! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blue carpet.....

2011-11-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

In the on going house saga, I have been learning a lot of patience. And thankfulness. Thankful that we do not have a time limit to when we need to move, thankful that we have family who has been so very helpful during this entire process. Thankful that we are able to buy a house before our one year anniversary.
It has been so frustrating to wait, for almost 3 months. So difficult to keep my focus on what I have been given, and not what I don't have. And painful to see that I have so much pride. The carpet is blue. 1990's blue. We will be saving to replace it, hopefully with wood floor. But in the meantime, we will be living on 20 year old, blue carpet. Although part of my aversion to this, is that there is 20 years worth of dirt and who knows what in the carpet, (I told Brad I will not take my shoes off until we replace the flooring!)most of it, if I am honest, is that ugly blue carpet, is embarrassing to me. I don't want to invite anyone over to see it, until the flooring has been replaced. I don't want anyone to see the carpet. How very prideful of me. I have lived in Peru, and seen people who live in shacks, with dirt floors, who were so happy to invite me in to their homes. And here I am, in a beautiful, spacious house, not wanting to invite anyone over because the carpet is not to my liking. It is really humbling to look at it that way. To think that I worry about what people will think of me, because of some carpet.
So as we prepare to paint, and move in, I will be continually praying that The Lord will be doing a work in my heart, to strip away a little bit more of my pride. To change my heart a little bit more, to open my eyes to how truly I am blessed. And to give me a heart to open my doors to anyone, and welcome them, happy to fellowship, on the blue carpet!

My Calling

2011-09-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

God has been speaking to my heart. I picked up a book yesterday, while the sweet child I nanny was sleeping, I was bored and wanting something to entertain me. The title caught my eye "Family Man, Family Leader". I thought maybe it would be a good book to give my husband. He loves books. I tried to read it through my husbands eyes, or what I thought his eyes would be like. But God wouldn't let me. Beautifuly painful how He can use a book written for men, to convict me in my role as a wife. Because after Believer in The Almighty God, Wife is what defines me. But not enough, either of them, not enough. For I fail miserably at truly believing, every second of my life. I don't think like I truly believe, I don't love like I truly believe, I don't sacrifice self, or speak Truth as if it was what truly defined me. And He showed that to me, by showing me what He has called my husband to be. For he will surely need the support and encouragment of a godly wife to press on, when darkness surrounds. He will need a woman who can recite scripture to him, to encourage him, when he feels unable to fulfill his high calling. I am none of those things. And this was the beautifully painful part of it all, I never will be. For I am the worst of sinners, the least of these; but Jesus was and is and will always be all of those things for me. Painful, because it always hurts to look into the mirror of scriture, to see that I can never live up to God's Holy law. Beautiful, because Christ did it for me, and his righteousness is forever given to me. God sees me as all of those things. But, why then, would he convict me? Ah the most beautiful part of it all! Because He loves me. He wants me to grow. Marriage is not only an image of Christ and the Church. God is not a god of single purposes. Everything He does is for a purpose, but so many, oh so many are for so much more than that. Marriage is also created to refine us, to constantly bring us to the foot of the Cross. To remind this stubborn heart, of the beauty and high cost of Jesus' sacrifice. And so, my heart was convicted, and so it was reminded of my desperate need for The Blameless Lamb. And my heart rejoiced as I was once again astounded by the pure beauty, and glory of what Christ has done for us, and how it covers me in this moment, and every moment of my life. God has been speaking to my heart, painful and beautiful things. He has been reminding me of the high calling He has placed on my life to be a wife, and someday, a mother. God has been speaking to my heart, and revealing to me that I can never accomplish this, not in accordance with His holy standards; but He has been speaking to my heart, and reminding me, that Christ did all that for me! What joy! What bliss! What GRACE! That He could love a sinner such as I!

Photography

2011-09-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to take some photography classes, but they cost money, and I am busy all the time with two jobs now. But, here are some of my better attempts.

Really???

2011-09-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

Brad and I have been in the process of looking for a house. There have been so many foreclosures on the market, and we were recently pre-approved for a loan, which was super exciting!!! We made an offer on a house that needed some work, but would have been a good deal. Our offer was not accepted. Then we found a perfect house. When we drove up, all I could think was there is no way we can afford this! The house is 1100 sq. feet, built in the 90's and in amazing shape. It has 3 bedrooms, and 2 full baths and gorgeous wood floor in the dinning room and kitchen. And a huge backyard! We put in an offer and are supposed to hear back about it by Tuesday. I so badly want this house. It only needs paint, and new carpet. We have not seen any house like this, and that it was in our price range was so exciting! So, we are anxiously waiting to hear, and we are hoping that they will accept our offer! The funniest thing to me, is that one of the things I am most excited about is getting to paint the walls!!!

Pictures of New York

2011-08-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

A merciful heart

2011-07-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

Last week we were in New York. It was fun, and overwhelming and HOT. I have always wanted to go to New York, and see a Broadway show, and stand in the middle of Times' Square at night, and experience the feel of the city. I was both surprised and disappointed. I have been to other big cities before. When I was 16 I went on a tour of Italy with a singing group, and saw Rome, Florence, Milan an Venice. All rather large cities. We were set loose for two days in Florence and allowed to explore the city. I loved it! I lived in Arequipa, Peru for 3 months during my language training on a year and a half long mission trip, and without even knowing the language that well, myself and the three girls in my group explored the city every afternoon, on foot. And once again, I loved it. But New York was different. I was shocked at the amount of people. I was awed by the sheer size of the buildings, and my dreams of Broadway shows were more than fulfilled. But I realized, I really didn't like the city. I know that the heat had to of played a part. We just happened to be there during the massive heat wave, when they had record breaking temperatures. The humidity was not as high as in the jungle, but it sure reminded me of it. And I hated that part of living in the jungle! I had a hard time with how people just push their way through the crowd, and if you bump into someone, they won't even turn around to see who ran into them, they just keep on walking. I felt uncomfortable when we walked in the subway stations, especially when we passed people that looked somewhat dangerous, or not quite sane. But the thing that impacted me the most was when we decided to go see the Yankee stadium, at night. We got on the right subway, an only after we had started going did we realize that this subway went through Harlem. I should not be uncomfortable with this, I lived in Peru, in a small jungle city. I went to the red light district, with the girls in my group, and one man to protect us. I walked around Arequipa at night with only one other girl with me. And through out all of those situations, I never was afraid. But that night on the subway, I was getting very nervous. People were staring at us. We were all dressed fairly nice, and I began to think about all the things that could happen. The subway finally stopped at Yankee stadium, which is in the Bronx and we decided to just stay right there on the platform (this portion of the Subway was elevated) and look through the fence at the stadium. All the while I could feel everyone staring at us. Probably wondering what in the world these people were doing here. And although I didn't realize it at the time, I was judging every person there. I assumed that because of the neighborhood they lived in, they were dangerous. I am ashamed to write this. To confess that I was so judgmental. And it only gets worse. We got safely back to our hotel that night, and obviously nothing happened. Just a few days later, we were eating lunch and talking about celebrities, singers and actors, who grew up in New York. Alicia Keys grew up either in the projects or somewhere like that, and look at her now. And we were marveling at how they had bettered their lives. And this lead to, mostly me, saying how if other people had done it, than so could those who live their now. Obviously it was possible. I who grew up in Idaho, on a farm. I who although my parents have never made a lot of money, and sacrificed material things so that my mom could stay home with us, never lacked anything; I who saved up my own money to buy a car, who had a job right out of high school and was able to spend more than half of my salary on clothes, who had the choice of whether I wanted to go to college or not. I was judging these people. And I didn't even realize it, until my husband pulled me aside, and using scripture showed me how horrible of a sinner I truly am. He gently corrected me, and I was mad at him, because I knew he was right. It is always uncomfortable when you look into the mirror of scripture, but I think it is intensified when someone else holds that mirror for you. And then, oh the shame and remorse I felt. What those kids who grow up in the projects would give to have grown up the way I did. With loving parents, with room to play, and with choices about my future. I have been able to travel to Europe and South America, a lot of those kids never leave the city. Who am I to think that they just need to try harder? The reality is, I thought I was better than them, that if I had grown up like them, I would have been able to get myself out of it. How arrogant, how prideful, how utterly sinful. God used our trip to New York and my wonderfully patient and loving husband, to show me again, just how terrible of a sinner I am. And to remind me just how much I need God to work on my heart every second. How much I need Him to sustain me minute by minute, and how utterly undeserving I am of the love that He has given me, in choosing me to be His child.
I know that I have quoted this hymn before, but it rings so true, so often in my life. And the reason is that the words of this hymn were inspired by the gospel, an written my a man who truly understood how great, and holy God is, and who we are in light of Him.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see
Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
Twas Grace that brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first begun.

Inadequate

2011-07-08T10:41:00.000-07:00

Brad is going to be a pastor sometime in the near future. I am proud to say that, and terrified. Proud that my husband is not trying to run from God's calling on his life, that he wants to honor God, and serve Him in fully. Terrified, because that means I will be a pastors wife. I will be an example, that the women of the church we are eventually serving at, will look up to. I will be expected to help out with womens' ministry, and frankly, I don't feel comfortable with that. Brad assures me that I don't have to do any of those things, but I know that I am supposed to. Because I too feel God's call on my life. First and foremost to be a godly wife, and mother; but also to serve alongside my husband. And it scares me. When I am home, in the safety and privacy of my home, it is ok if I make a mistake, because my husband is the only one who sees it. But when the day comes that I am no longer only serving in my home, my mistakes will be very visible. My tendency to have a "don't talk to me, I am the tough girl" attitude when I feel nervous, and out of place, will be very visible; and highly destructive to the ministry that I know I am called to. My unwillingness to let others lead, especially when I have planned something, is not only extremely sinful, but also could lead to many difficulties in the future. And the more I think about all of this, the more I realize, that because of my pride especially, and my utter sinfulness, I am going to fail. I can't do it. I am inadequate. But this is a good thing. Humbling? Yes. Painful? Definitely! True? No doubt about that. But good. Because the more that God shows me how inadequate I am, the more I lean on Him. The more He humbles me, the less there is of me and more there is of Him.
It is good that I am scared, and feel inadequate, because that means God is continuing to work on my heart, and reveal truths to me. To put that mirror of scripture in front of me so that I am continually reminded that there is absolutely no way I can do anything good, if He doesn't do it through me. And the more astonished I am that He chose to save me, and use a wretched sinner like me.
So today, I am feeling inadequate, and I am so thankful that I am!!

Our first Fourth in the States.......

2011-07-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

Last fourth of July, I was in Peru, and the fourth before that. Brad was as well. So I was excited to celebrate with family, who were actually excited about it, and do all of those traditional things we do for the fourth. Like barbecue, and eat homemade ice cream, and finally go to the demolition derby in Homedale! This was Brad's first time, and I was super excited for him, because I knew that my very manly husband would love to watch cars crash into each other, fling dirt on the spectators, and barley be able to hear each other yelling over the noise of the cars. And I was right! It was so fun to watch him yell, and get excited, and really enjoy himself! I also really enjoy the derby. I am one of those girls who actually likes cars, and especially those who's engines just sound good! Anyway, although it was hot, and a little bit muggy, we had a blast.
Watching my 19 month old niece was almost as entertaining. We weren't quite sure how she would react to all of the noise and chaos, but she was fine. She would point out the cars that had been smashed and say "Oh no!" and the cutest thing she did was put her hand on her mouth with that "Oh dear" expression when things were particularly chaotic! We had a great time, and even stayed for the fireworks. Which was great, until it was 12:30 and we had to drive the half an hour drive home!! But it was fun, and I thouroughly enjoyed my first Fourth of July married, and in the states after missing the last two!!!

Space

2011-06-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Brad and I were asked if we would be willing to house sit for a friend of his parents for the summer. We were more than happy to accept, as we have been living with his parents since we got married, due to financial difficulties. Not that we didn't love living with them (love you Renee!!) but we were excited to have some space where we could truly be alone. We moved in here on Monday, and it has been wonderful!!! I love being able to feel like I am "really" a wife now. I am actually doing all of the wifely duties now. Like having dinner ready when Brad walks in the door, and going grocery shopping, which I really enjoy right now (course not when I have to pay for it all in the end!!) and just being able to sit and talk to each other over dinner, just the two of us. It is like date night every night!!! But, although it has been wonderful, it makes me even more anxious to have a house that we can truly call our own. Where I can decorate and paint, and really feel settled in. I sort of feel like we are playing house. And tonight we get to play parents, as we are going to be keeping Matthias, the little guy I nanny all night tonight in "our" house. I must say, I am excited about this! I love that little guy, and I am so excited for the day that God blesses us with children!
But, as we wait for that day, I will be praying that God will continually be changing my heart, to be more and more like Him, and give thanks in every situation, and for all the blessings He has so graciously bestowed upon us!

Clay

2011-06-03T08:02:00.001-07:00

My baby brother is getting married tonight. It is weird to think that we are all grown up now. My parents are empty nesters! I am excited to watch as they pledge their lives to one another, in front of God, and their family and friends. I am sure that I will shed at least one tear, but most likely a whole river! As I sit here this morning contemplating marriage and all it entails, I am reminded of why God created marriage in the first place. To bring Him glory. To show us, that no matter how much we love our spouses, no matter what we might do for them; no matter how jealous we are for their time, and affection, He feels and is, and completes all of those things, infinitely more so. Marriage is meant to make us think of God. When we desire to spend time with our spouse, how much more should we desire to spend time with God? When I haven't seen my husband for a few days, and I long to just be in his presence, how much more should I feel that towards God every minute that is not spent in prayer, or the word? That is the mightiest purpose in marriage. Sure, we have wonderful companionship, and God said it is not good that man be alone; and yes marriage refines us. But I believe that the greatest purpose of marriage, is to bring God glory, by drawing attention to how much we should desire God. As I write this, I feel convicted. I am not a very good wife! Sometimes I don't want to sacrifice the stupid little things to please my husband. I don't want to watch sports, just to be with him! I want to watch something I like. I don't want to drag myself out of bed in the morning to make him a lunch for work, I want to sleep in! How much worse am I at loving God!? But that is the point, the more we see ourselves as the worst of sinners, the more we desire after God. Because we realize, that there is NOTHING we can do to change who we are. Only God can. He is the only one who with the slightest breath, can change our hearts. He is the only one, who can mold us, and make us more like Him. He is the potter, I am the clay.
So, as I sit here thinking about marriage, and my brother, and God; I pray that The Lord will begin now, to work in my brother and his soon to be wife's lives, and help them to see the far greater purpose in marriage. I pray that He will do that in my life as well. And I feel overwhelmed that He chose to bless me with marriage, inadequate to bring Him the smallest amount of glory, and relieved that in reality, it isn't up to me, because He is the potter, and I am the clay.

Life so far

2011-05-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

Life so far, has been wonderful! I love being married, and although I know that I am still considered to be in the "honeymoon stage" I pray that I will always love being married at least this much, and hopefully more and more as the years go by!
We have a huge praise!! Brad applied for a new job at Specialty Construction, and he got it!!!! This is so great, as he will no longer be working two jobs, one of them being nights on the weekend! He will be making more at this one job, then both of his jobs put together! We are so excited, and thankful that God blessed us with providing this job for Brad. And I am happy that I won't be in bed alone on the weekends. I hate feeling all alone at night!
I feel already that God has been using our marriage to point out so many things in my heart that he is changing. Marriage truly does refine us. A couple that are good friends of ours put it really well, "marriage makes you realize just how selfish you are." I would agree with that! It has been wonderful, to see how God has been using the faults that we each have, to refine us both.
I really don't have much to write about. Life is pretty day to day right now, but I really don't want a lot of excitement!! I like just being able to enjoy each day that God blesses me with!! He truly is an awesome God!!

Easter

2011-04-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

This Easter weekend, Brad and I went to Bend with the Wall side of the family, and met up with those who live in the Coquille area. We stayed in this beautiful condo that was soooo nice! Brian and Renee have time shares, and were able to trade points to get this condo, as it was the off season for vacationers. So, we had three "houses" with 25 people, 17 of them children. It was crazy and loud, and so much fun! It was wonderful for me to be able to really get to know Brad's family. I had only spent time with some of them over labor day weekend last year, and I was still feeling really shy at the time. I don't know if being married helped or what, but I felt totally comfortable and really enjoyed myself. We were there Friday afternoon through Monday afternoon.
The weather was supposed to be cold and rainy the whole time, but it was warm and sunny Saturday, and they had complimentary bikes at the condo, so we were able to go on a bike ride, which was great fun. They had a "bike trail" that was mostly a designated lane off the right side of the road, that was 2.6 miles long. There were some sharp corners and hills, and I of course took one too sharp, and crashed, more like belly flopped, into the sagebrush!!! We all went to church together on Sunday, and then had a big Easter dinner and egg hunt for the kids.
On Monday we all went into town and went shopping before we left, which was great fun, and I found some wonderful bargains!!!
All in all it was a very enjoyable trip, and I am so glad that I got to spend time with my "new" family, and get to know them all better!!!

Our God is an AWESOME God!

2011-03-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

I have been really contemplating Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Something my husband has been helping me to understand more fully, is the sovereignty of God. Having never really dug into that concept, I was amazed when I read this verse again, with my new, and still extremely limited understanding of God's sovereignty. My husband and I were discussing this verse, and he pointed out that everyone always looks at this verse and they think it means that if you love God, then everything in your life, will work out for YOUR good. You will be happier, there might be hard times, but they will pass, and God will bless you, and everything will be good. But it doesn't actually say that. It says all things work for good, without any further explanation. When you look at it, from the perspective of God's sovereignty, you see that the good God is the most concerned about, is our spiritual good. Not our physical good, or emotional good, not material good.....our spiritual good. Let that sink in for a minute, and think about it.
When do we grow the most spiritually?

During hard times. One of the times that I grew the most, was in Peru. Being completely out of my comfort zone, and away from all I knew. It was hard, it hurt, but I grew so much. I am sure that you all have similar stories. The hardest times, the times when you thought you could not go another day, were the times you grew the most in your faith.
So if God is most concerned about our spiritual good, and we grow the most during hard times, then what do you think is going to happen in our lives?
Now, let me clarify; I am most definitely not saying that God does not bless us, and does not want us to have enjoyment in this life. And I am absolutely not saying that God is going to bring trial, after trial, after trial, and your life here on earth is going to be pain. It doesn't take much reading, especially of the gospels, to see that God is compassionate, and merciful. He loves to bless us! Look at Job, God had placed hedges of protection around him, and blessed him so very richly.
But then, when you continue reading, the rest of the story is hard to swallow. The book of Job was probably the book in the Bible that I have struggled with the most. Why would God do that? It didn't make sense to me. But then, you have a paradigm shift. You look at it with God's sovereignty in mind, and you see that it was for Job's spiritual good. He came to the point of being able to say, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord." Wow. After everything, he said THAT.
You see, I believe THAT is what Romans 8:28 is telling us. That God uses the trials, AND the blessings, to help us grow spiritually. To refine us. To help us get to that same point, where we are in more pain, than we ever thought could be possible, but we can still say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord!"
Our spiritual well being and growth, is so much more important than anything else that will ever happen to us here on earth. And if we can pray, that God will continually give us that perspective, and use everything in our lives to help us grow; if we can believe, I mean truly believe that God is sovereign, then when those hard times come around, when you have been knocked to your knees, because the pain is so great, then with the grace of God holding us up, we can say "Blessed be the name of the Lord!" And know, that through this pain, God is refining us, for our spiritual good, and because He loves us.
This concept has been the hardest for me to swallow. To believe that God will put me through pain like that, to make me grow.......lets just say, I cried a lot! I fought against this with all that I am. I actually got mad at my husband for pointing this out to me, and took it out on him! But the more I read scripture, the more I was convinced. And honestly, why would I want to believe in a god who is not in control of EVERYTHING that happens. What kind of a god would that be? He would be powerless, blown about by our desires. But God is not like that. Coming to terms with this, has been such a huge blessing in my life. It has been scary, to let go of the "control" that I thought I had. But the truth is, God has expanded my comprehension of this, and I am so thankful! And although it feels scary at first, when I began to fully understand this, it was a relief. I didn't have to worry anymore! It has helped me in learning to submit to my husband. Understanding that God is sovereign, helps me to understand that it is really God that I am submitting to. Because God placed Brad as the head of our home, and God is fully in control, and my husband is a man of God, so who am I to question God? That is what I do when I refuse to submit to my husband. God has forordained everything, and in being un-submissive, I am telling God, that I don't think He is big enough. That His plan is not good enough.
In knowing, that everything that comes my way has been planned out, and orchestrated by The Almighty, I can breath a sigh of relief. Because He has planned everything for my spiritual good, for maximum growth. He has planned everything to bring Him the most glory. And I feel beyond honored, that He chose to use me, however small a part it may be, to help bring that about.
Truly, what and AWESOME God is He.

Wait, what?

2011-03-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

The phone rang, ten minutes after we walked in the door. It was my doctor, "The results from your ultrasound show that the blood flow to your left ovary is abnormal. We are concerned that it has twisted cutting off the blood supply. Because this is a time sensitive complication, I want you to go to the ER. I will call ahead to let them know you are coming and to get you in as fast as possible." I hung up the phone, trying to stay calm. And Brad and I head out to the ER, praying that everything will be alright.

Monday didn't start out that bad. I had taken the day off, because I knew that I needed to go the doctor. I had been having pain and cramping in my uterus for the past 9 days, and finally decided that it wasn't going away on it's own, so just in case it was something, which I didn't think it was, we were going to get me checked out. So, we went to the doctor, and she listened to my description of the pain, looked at my chart (we use the Natural Family Planning method of birth control, which involves taking your basal temperature, and charting your cycle. Very helpful in issues like this to bring to your doctor.) felt my stomach, and said "Huh...?" with a confused look on her face, when I told her that it hurt more on the right, but when she pushed on the right side, I could feel pain on the left side as well. She thought it was an ovarian cyst, but was concerned, so she sent me to Inter Mountain Medical Imaging. I had some blood work done, and an ultrasound. Getting an ultrasound under these circumstances was not how I had always pictured my first ultrasound. It was strange, because there we were, Brad holding my hand, while the technician squirted the lotion on my stomach and began the ultrasound. Only this was not because we were pregnant, and that was sort of weird! During the ultrasound, I noticed that my left ovary was much larger than my right. When I pointed this out to the technician, she said that often times they are not symmetrical. I am not trained at all, but this was not just a slight difference in size, it was VERY noticeable.

But, after everything, they sent us home with the reassurance that my doctor would call before 8 pm and let me know the results. Which brings us back to where we started, in the car, driving to the ER. We actually were in the waiting room for maybe 10 minutes, and then they took us back to a room. My doctor calling ahead, was to be thanked for that. The doctor on call came in and checked me out, and explained the situation to me. My left ovary was enlarged, and the blood flow was abnormal. If it has twisted on itself, then they would need to do an emergency surgery, before it died, to fix it. He needed the OBGYN on call to take a look at the ultrasound results to make a definitive diagnosis. And then he left. Brad and I are starting to feel worried. Surgery? I have no health insurance. We were in the process of getting some for me when this happened. A doctors visit, an ultrasound, and now possibly a surgery? How in the world were we going to pay for all of this? We started to pray. We prayed that God would work out His perfect will. We prayed that He would help us to grow even more through whatever was going to happen. And we prayed that He would give the doctors wisdom.

The OBGYN came into the room, and talked to me. I told her that I had just gotten off birth control a month ago, and that when I was 19 I had a cyst, a month after getting off birth control. (I had lots of issues with my cycle in high school, and they put me on birth control to regulate it.) She told me that my left ovary had swollen to 5cm but that was not a dangerous size. Toursions, (twistings) of the ovary cause it to swell to at least 7cm, and so because of the size and the fact that the abnormal blood flow was only to the inside of my ovary, she concluded that I had a hemorraghing cyst, and that I would be fine! We were so thankful! No surgery! I found out that I acutally had a large cyst on both ovaries, and that I needed to rest, and just wait until they dissolved.

So, here I am sitting on the couch for the 3rd day in a row, taking advil every 3 hours; using a heating pad, and thanking God that surgery was avoided. I have a follow up app. next week, with my OBGYN to make sure that everything is healing.

I learned through all of this, once again, that God is in control, and even when the unknown is really scary, it doesn't have to be. It is the unknown to us, but not to God. And knowing that, I can relax. He has it all under control, so that I don't have to try.

Something deep an philosophical

2011-03-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

I like reading other peoples blogs. And whenever I read them, I always have this urge to write, to share, but I can never seem to think of something good. I mean, all of these blogs that I read, are deep, and spiritual, and phiosophical, and I always think "I want to write something like that!"
But the thing about writing, is that you can't force it. I used to always have an itch to write. I started who knows how many short stories, and never finished any of them. I don't have the patience, or the gift I suppose, to write that much. God hasn't called me to be a writer. Not like that.
When I was in Peru, it was easier to write. I could just tell a story of life there, because there was ALWAYS a story to tell! And most of them were humorous. Like the time Callie fell in the ditch and peed her pants! Or I would simply give an update, about how things were going. But now, what is there to write? Life is so, every day. Not in a bad way, but it just is.
Who really wants to hear that today, was pretty much the same as yesterday. I got up at the same time, went to work, and did pretty much the same thing. I don't want this to sound like I am complaining. That is not the point I am trying to get across. I LOVE my life! I feel so blessed, and I have such a joy and peace, as I have never had before. No, the point I am trying to get across, is that I have no idea why I have a blog!
I like having a blog. I like having this outlet when I need one. I guess I just feel like I NEED to post, at least once every two weeks. But really, why do I need to? It is not like I have this HUGE following. I know my mom and sister and mother in law all read it, and my grandma; but the great majority of my followers were people who supported me in Peru.
Honestly, I am not sure of how to end this. In writing this, I have sort of had an aha moment. Maybe I feel the need to write, because I am somewhat seeking the approval of others. Still. And if that is the case, which I think it partly is, then I need to bring that before God, and maybe take some time off from blogging, until my motives are pure, and I am writing for one reason, and one reason only.......to glorify God.

He knows

2011-03-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

God has been changing my attitude towards spiritual growth lately. In the past, I have always prayed, rather carefully; I would never pray that God would give me patience, because it sure seemed that not too long after asking for patience, I would have a trial in my life, change, something hard. I hate change, I mean really hate it. I do alright with happy changes, and in getting married I had no problems with the changes, although they were rather big; but for the most part, change is something I never handle well. Not only do I not handle it well, I worry about changes happening. I think about all possible outcomes, and the way I would handle each one, so that I can maybe be prepared. You may think change seems off topic from spiritual growth, but in reality anytime we have a change in our lives, we grow. My husband and I are trying to save enough cash to pay for a car, because I don't have one, and things are starting to get a little tricky, as he is starting his second job any time now. And we are wanting to then save enough for a down payment on a repo house, because right now, they are really cheap. As you can imagine, these big changes, that are looming in the future, have been making me worry, and wonder, and strategies, and go absolutely crazy. I have blogged about the sovereignty of God before, but as it is still a new concept for me, and something I feel the church as a whole is not putting enough emphasis on, I am still comprehending what it means.
The last few days, I have been praying that God will increase my comprehension, of this mind blowing concept, and teach me how to live a life, firmly believing that God is totally and completely sovereign. And He is faithful. As I write that small phrase, He is faithful, my throat is getting tight, and my eyes are feeling up with tears of joy, and gratitude. Because for the past couple of days, I have not been worrying! Praise God! Let me explain, worry has been such a huge part of my life, and so integrated in my thinking, that I didn't even realize how much I worried, until God worked out this miracle. I felt at peace. Especially today, I have felt completely at peace, and content. There are not words to describe how amazing this is! God is so good. And in all of this, He has revealed something to me; although the great majority of the time, change hurts, because it forces you to grow, it is so worth it. Because if God hadn't seen fit to change my heart, and my thinking, I would still be worrying about everything, and not realizing how much it was consuming my life.
There are still, and I know will be times when I begin to worry, but God is faithful, and He will continue to change my thinking, and my heart. When you know, and I mean really know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that God is completely in control, and even when he sends bad times your way, it is for your own good, and ultimately to bring Him glory, then there is no need to worry. He has already planned it, and it will happen, and that is actually a relief! I don't have to do anything, I can just lean on His "everlasting arms" knowing that He knows. And that is all I need to know.

It's official, I am a nerd!

2011-03-05T18:14:00.000-08:00

I started working on Saturdays for Brian and Renee (my in laws) doing secretarial work. Brian is a CPA, and tax season, is looooong and busy!!! So, I was excited for the opportunity to gain more experience, and the extra money! :) I was always the little girl who wanted to be outside, and hated sitting down for long (unless I was reading, then good luck getting me up!) and so it came as a bit of a surprise to me, when I found myself, not only enjoying, the mundane, menial tasks of filing, correcting discrepencis in billing statements, re-lableing, and other clerical duties, but feeling rather happy, and extremely accomplished when I finished a task, and did it well, and it all looked so neat and organized. Now let me explain why this is such a surprise to me. I still, hate making my bed. I am 23, and seriously, I hate having to make it! I don't know why I should, I am only going to mess it up again! My mom, bless her heart, used to have to remind me who knows how many times to make my bed, even though I am sure she knew that I usually didn't forget, I was just NOT doing it! :) Even now, I have a hard time keeping my clothing drawers organized. I might put them all in there nice and folded and neat and color coordinated, and feel that same feeling of satisfaction, but it NEVER stays that way. So, I was delightfully surprised that I actually enjoyed doing office work, even if the title "nerd" comes with it! I am going to proudly admit to my nerdy side, and hope that some of it rubs off in the other areas of my life. Like making my bed! :)

And God met us there

2011-02-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

I just got back from Womens Retreat yesterday. My wonderful Mommy, payed for me to go (thanks Mom!) and even picked me up! She is great! We headed up to Cascade, Idaho and the beautiful Ashley Inn. My sister, Mom and I all rode together, and my Mom hardly got to say anything! Mandy and I talked and talked and talked all the way there! It was so great to catch up. Our speaker was wonderful. She has an amazing testimony, and God definitely used her. It had been a while since I had seen everyone from my home church where I grew up, so seeing everyone again was great. Lately, I have found myself, becoming critical. In learning new things about doctrine, and digging for the truth, and trying to be wise and discerning in what is taught to me, I have somewhere gone to far, and become very critical. I mean, REALLY critical. I had started doing, what I hate, taking things out of context, a phrase, and looking at it alone. God didn't let that last very long. He called me out on it, in our second session with our speaker, right after this amazing time of worship, where the presence of God was almost tangible. You know, that scalp tingling feeling, that makes you cry for no reason, and fall to your knees before you even know what is happening, feeling. It was amazing, humbling, and exactly the boost I needed. I had started to despair, without realizing I had. Feeling that life was just gray. I was becoming negative about everything, critical, and judgmental towards everyone, and definitely not the woman of God, that I so strive to be. I honestly think I had stopped striving. But God wouldn't let that last either. He does that. You might think you can get away with it, but you can't. He pursues you until you have no choice. He is so merciful! He never lets us stay in one place. He doesn't say, "ok, you have grown enough, you can just stay there now" no, He is not satisfied with anything less than perfect, so He works on us, until the end. And the thing that is the most amazing, is that although he is not satisfied with imperfection, he somehow loves us, with an unconditional love. I mean really, think about it. He isn't satisfied with anything but perfection, but yet He loves us unconditionally, knowing we will never reach perfection, until He comes back, and gives us new bodies, and heals us from our sins, once and for all. It doesn't make sense, and that is the beauty of it all. If we could make sense of our God, then He would be pretty small. Anyway, now that I have been all philosophical! God met us there, at womens retreat. He filled that room with His sweet presence. Loving us, gently correcting us, and allowing us the honor of feeling Him near us. Wow. Of all the places in all the world, He chose to honor our small group with His awe inspiring presence. There are not words. God met us there, and none of us will never be the same. Oh how awesome is our God. So, this weekend, was painful, humbling, refreshing, awe inspiring, and exactly what my tired soul was longing for. Our God is sooo good! We closed the last day with one of my favorite hymns, and I am going to finish out this post, with that exact same hymn.

"Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the works thy hands hath made. I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, thy power throughout the universe displayed. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee, how great thou art, how great thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee, how great thou art, how great thou art."

Germs

2011-02-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

I hate germs, I mean I know that they actually make you healthier, because your immune system is strengthened. And I know that some germs are actually good for you, but I seriously get sick so often, especially in the winter, that I just hate it! I am sure you guessed it by now, I am sick today. I have been for two days. You know, the sore throat, runny nose, terrible headache, achy all over sick. Really, why can't we just have one symptom at a time? Anyway, in all the time I have had to just sit around, because moving hurts too much and takes way too much energy, I have decided that I truly HATE germs!

I'm one of those people....

2011-02-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

I have always had the sneaking suspicion that I am one of "those people". You know, the ones that have to have everything planned out just so, and if it doesn't go the way they planned, then everything falls apart. I actually used to laugh at stories of women who planned things, like a romantic dinner for their husbands, and when it went all wrong, they ended up in tears! Thinking, Oh good grief! Just go with it! But, Friday night, my suspicions were confirmed. I did just that. I planed a romantic dinner for Brad and I. I love to cook, and I wanted to make this wonderful gourmet meal for him, and eat it by candle light, while looking into each others eyes. Like the movies. I had a picture of it all in my mind. About an hour and a half before I wanted dinner to be ready, I decided to make a dessert to go with it. So I quickly grabbed a cake mix, threw it in the oven, and looked up a recipe for a filling to put in the cake. I found a cream cheese filling recipe, and modified it to make it chocolate. It tasted really good, if I do say so myself! :) So then I proceeded to mix up a batch of butter cream frosting, which I have done thousands of times. The butter was hard, because I hadn't planned for a dessert, so I microwaved it, but I lost track of time, as I was checking on the cake, and the butter didn't jut soften, it began to melt. I thought, hey it's no big deal, it should still work. So I continue to make the frosting. But it wasn't looking right, it was all grainy, and weird. By now, I am thinking, great, the cake is taking longer to bake then I want it to, and it won't be cooled enough to frost. But there is no turning back now. I want everything to be ready, and look perfect. So, I give in and look up a recipe for butter cream, and it turns out perfect! Yay! Things are back on track, and I am feeling good. Brad gets home as I am pulling the cake out of the oven, and I tell him that I am going to sear the salmon and dinner will be ready. We didn't have any other type of meat, so salmon was it. But Brad had not had a very good day, and he wasn't feeling the greatest. He asked me, "do we have to have salmon?" And then I remember, my husband doesn't really like fish. So I say, no but we really don't have anything else, except mac 'n cheese, and....... mac 'n cheese it is! But, now my vision of this romantic, gourmet meal, is not becoming a reality. And, I am near tears. Yup, I am almost crying, like one of "those people" the ones I used to laugh at. I think, ok, it is alright you still get to have a romantic dinner, you still get to spend time together, it is alright. Brad sees the cake, and he is excited, because he loves chocolate cake. Now, you need some history here. Brad always wants a chocolate cake, with rainbow chip frosting for his birthday. I was so excited to make him a cake for his birthday this year! I had a cake mix that was triple chocolate, and I thought, not only is it chocolate, but it has a fudge mix with chocolate chunks in it, that you mix in the batter. He will like this even better!!!! But, my husband, is a very simple man, and is very easily pleased. He is happy with a peanut butter sandwich and some apples for lunch, or mac 'n cheese for dinner. He didn't really like the cake. And this I forgot. I was so excited in making this gourmet meal for Brad, with a special filling for the cake, that I forgot he doesn't like extra. Anyway, back to my story. So, I excitedly tell him about the cake, and as I am telling him, I remember, he doesn't like extras on his cake. At this point I loose it. I start crying! And all I can think is Oh great!! I AM one of "those people"!!!!! And my wonderful, caring husband came into the kitchen, held me in his arms and told me that everything was going to be ok, we were still going to have a wonderful time. And you know what? He was right. It was relaxing, and romantic, and I even started laughing while we were sitting there, in candle light, eating mac 'n cheese!!!! And I have decided, that making impossible plans, and worrying about getting things perfect, is not worth the time and effort. Any amount of time with my husband is wonderful and romantic, no matter the setting, or the food!!!

I got a job!!!!

2011-02-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

God has blessed me once again with another Nanny job!! I am so excited, as I have begun to go a little bit stir crazy, with nothing to do, I mean you can only clean a house so many times in one week! But, our good friends Donna and Michael, have a little boy, Matthias, who is 6 months old, and they need a new nanny! I have been praying about getting a job, as I tentatively applied to a few select places. I have never gone to college, and only ever wanted to be wife and mother, so looking for a job is hard for me. Anyway, I am a little bit picky, and I wanted a job that I would enjoy, and that would have good hours, so that especially when Brad starts working two jobs, I will still be able to see him. I will be working 3 days a week, which is just perfect for me, as I will still be able to get our laundry done, clean the house, and spend time with Brad. I feel so blessed, and I am amazed at how God works things out! I am just feeling so amazingly content! God is so wonderful!

Working out....hmmm

2011-01-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

About 3 years ago, I was running almost every day, for 1 to 2 miles. I loved getting out there on the road, by myself, and just running. And I loved how it made me feel. I get colds, and headaches fairly easily, and when I was running all of the time, I hardley ever got sick, and felt great! I would sleep better, I would eat better, because I felt healthy, and just all over felt better. Then, I left for Peru, and I tried to run, but we were not supposed to go out by ourselves, and then when we were in the jungle, it was sooooo hot, that I didn't want to move away from the fan more than I had to! In Iquitos, I went through the lowest point of culture shock, and I would walk down to this little tienda down the street from our compound, buy and entire pack of cookies, like 30, and eat them all while watching a movie, reading letters from home, or listening to music. That is how I chose to cope with culture shock. In no time at all, I went from 140lbs to 165! I noticed my clothes getting much tighter, and I really didn't care. Until, I went to the doctor for my bug bite infection, and got wieghed....I saw the number and I was like WHAT!!!!! 165! HOLY SMOKES!!! I have gained 25 pounds in the last 4 months, and it is deffinitely NOT muscle. So, after my infection healed, I started running again, but I wasn't consistent. ANd that is how it has been. Due to stress, and a mean intestinal infection, I lost all of the weight, and then some. Now that I am back home, I am staying at 140, and I am ok with that, but I know that simply to be healthy, I need to be consistently, doing some kind of physical activity. But I always have an excuse! I am too tired, it is too cold outside, I'll do it tomorrow....etc. Really, for someone who used to run consistently, and enjoyed it, I should easily be able to get back into the swing of it, but I have really been struggling. And I have come to a conclusion, I need to just accept the fact, that I am probably not ever going to just LOVE running, or working out, and it will never be a ton of fun for me, but I need to do it. Not for weight reasons, or how I could end up looking, but because my body is a temple, and if I want to honor God in everything I am doing, that means that I need to stay healthy. So, with that thought in mind, I am going to put in my headphones, put on some praise music, and and go honor God!!

God is blessing me

2011-01-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

Brad and I recently started going to a new church. We started "church shopping" shortly after we got engaged, wanting to find a church that isn't identified by either one of us as "our parents church"; so we started out, looking up churches on line, reading about their mission statements, what theology they taught, etc. We both wanted to start attending a church that had a reformed theology. In the simplest of terms (if theology can ever be simplified)reformed theology focuses on the sovereignty of God, taking the focus off what God can do for us, ie. making us feel better in a crisis, blessing us, giving us peace, etc. to what God has done for us by grace alone and through no effort of our own doing; and putting it on the Gospel, our own sinfulness, and Gods grace. Philippians 3:8-11 "Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes trough faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and may share his sufferings, and becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."
We started going to Cloverdale United Reformed Church, and we both really liked it, but I had a hard time, with not having any connections, and feeling so new. We then were invited to attend The Well, by two couples that are quickly becoming good friends of ours. So, we decided to try it. And we loved it! It was so wonderful for me, to attend a church where we knew people!
Shortly after we returned from our honeymoon, we began attending a small group with our friends, and several other people from our church. We are studying "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer, a great book! And through this, I was introduced to even more people in the church, and invited to join a women's Bible study that was just starting. We would be studying "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney, also another wonderful book. It is a study of Titus 2 focusing on verses 3-5, I am just going to quote it all here; "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." I love how in the study the author focuses on how this scripture is a mandate and or command from God, and that we are to fulfill it, with God's help, and by his grace, not because it will improve our home life, or make our marriages better, or increase our happiness, but because we are commanded to, and because it brings honor to His name. Really, when you think about it, that is a HUGE responsibility! He is telling us, that by obeying this command, we are honoring God, and he can use that to draw others to him. And frankly it is scary, to be given that much responsibility. But if it wasn't scary, then we would think that we could do it on our own, and we would not be trusting solely on God, and therefore we would be sinning, in thinking we are able enough to do it on our own. A sin, that I am guilty of sooo often!
We have an accountability group, every Monday night, so that we have someone to keep us on track with the study, and have a discussion. We then meet once a month, on the last Wednesday of every month with all of the women, to have a big discussion group, and fellowship. My group is small, which I love, and I think it is the best group! :) B.J., Sarah, and I. That is it. But last night, we had such a wonderful time, and I knew that God had placed us together for a reason. I feel so blessed to be in this study, to have these two wonderful women of God, who can help me with their wisdom and support, and to have the opportunity to cultivate close friendships; friendships that I hope will last for a lifetime. God doesn't have to bless us, he is God, he is sovereign, he is totally in control of everything that happens; but he saw fit to bless me with this wonderful group of women that can help keep me accountable. And I am so thankful, and very much looking forward to the spiritual growth to come!

And it's official!!!

2011-01-14T15:55:00.000-08:00

I am officially Mrs. Wendy Wall!!! And I am soooo happy about it! We had a wonderfully, meaningful and beautiful wedding! And then a wonderful, sunny, honeymoon in beautiful Kauai, Hawaii. We have only been married for two weeks, and I am already loving it. God truly blessed me with such a wonderful and sweet husband. This morning he brought me breakfast in bed! I am so looking forward to the rest of our lives together, and trying hard, to soak in every moment!

It's getting closer!

2010-12-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

As the wedding is getting closer, I find myself getting more and more excited! Just the other day, I was telling Brad how excited I am to write our first Christmas letter next year. We will have been married for almost a year by then, I will finally get to write the famous Christmas letters! One of the many wifely duties, that I have looked forward to my whole life! And I pray that with God's help, I will continually find joy, in those every day "duties" and love every minute of the mundane tasks, that make my soon to be husband feel loved and taken care of.
I am also looking forward to spending our first Christmas together! We were dating last Christmas, but we were both in Peru, and I felt so very far away from Brad, and my family. It is exciting to think that this year we get to share this wonderful, and important celebration, together, and look forward to creating our own traditions next year!
Twenty two days, feels like a very long time, most of the time, but I know that our wedding day will be here before I even know it, and I cannot wait to walk down that aisle, stand there on the stage, and dedicate my life to my other half!

Be Still.......

2010-10-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have found myself, being reminded that sometimes in our spiritual walks, God just wants us to be still, and enjoy His presence. And at least in my life, this tends to happen, when everything in my life, is busy. Not necessarily bad busy, just busy. It is easy when I am doing ten things at one time, to quickly do my Bible study, and then continue on with my list of things to do. The other day, while I was doing my Bible study, and I was praying, I felt God, quietly pressing on my heart, that I needed to just stop talking, and listen. To wait, to concentrate on His presence, to be still. I am such a doer; if there is a problem, I am immediately looking for a solution, a way to fix it. But I felt, in that moment, that God was telling me "Wendy, sometimes you can't fix everything. Even in the midst of craziness, when there are a thousand problems, you can still be still, and rest in my presence. Run away with me, just spend some time being with me." I had so much time in Peru, to be alone with God. When we were not out, knocking on doors, there was no TV, no internet in our house, no books really, except for the Bible. I never really had to "find" time to spend in The Word, or to just revel in His presence. But here, in the States, there are so many distractions. And I have had a difficult time re-adjusting to the busyness, and continuing to find time, to spend with God. So, when I felt His voice the other day, it was a wonderful reminder that even here, in the crazy United States, where we have everything we need or could ever want, and every distraction possible, it really is more than possible, to MAKE time to just be still, and rest in God's presence.

A good weekend

2010-09-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

Friday night, we had a wonderful engagement party that Renee put on for us. It was so nice to have the chance for our respective families to meet and have time to visit and get to know each other, and it was so nice for Brad and I to have a nice relaxing evening where we could mingle, and "practice" for the reception. Renee did such a wonderful job (with Brian's help of course) and I was and am so appreciative of the hard work and time she put in to making that night special for us.
As the weather starts to change, my excitement grows with each passing day! To think that God blessed me this much with such a wonderful man of God, and I am marrying him! My best friend, the love of my life. I cannot wait to start my life with him! God truly is so wonderful. I have never felt so blessed.

God is so good!

2010-08-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have found myself, with a heart overflowing with thanksgiving. God provided a wonderful job for me. I am working for a good christian family, as a nanny. I get the privilege of being payed to do something I love, play with, and take care of kids! God truly blesses his children. And then, as if my week and my life could get any better, my wonderful boyfriend, Brad, asked me to marry him on Friday night! So, now, not only do I have an amazing job, that I love, I have a wonderful fiance, and a wonderful future to look forward to! The date is set, New Years Eve, of this year. I cannot wait to be his wife, and start our lives together. God has truly been in the business of blessing me lately, and I hope that I doesn't stop!!!

My aha moment

2010-08-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have been home for almost a month now. Re-adjusting, has been much easier than I thought it was going to be. As of right now, I have not experienced reverse culture shock. At first, I was so happy to just be home and not have to do anything. I could sleep in as late as I wanted, swim all day, watch movies, eat all the foods I missed, and pretty much have an extended/indefinite vacation. Sure, in the back of my mind I was thinking, "I need to get a job soon" but I wanted some time to just chill. Well, now, I am going stir crazy. I have had more than enough time to just chill, and so far, all of my applications/resumes that I have sent out, have either been turned down, because I am not willing to work Sundays, or there has been no response. So, my plan, of relax for a few weeks, and then get a job, isn't working out to great.
Because I have had so much time to just, sit, I have started to feel somewhat useless. And worried. I need to get a job, and actually start doing something, and I need to buy a car. My mom has been enjoying having me home, she now has a live in maid. She now, usually, comes home to a house that is clean, dishes that are washed and put away, and laundry that has been washed, dried and folded. And, I feel great about being able to help out my mom. After all, she did do all of that for me, for years. But, it doesn't take me all day, every day, to accomplish those small chores. I mean, the house can only be cleaned so many times......and once the laundry is done, it takes a few days for there to be enough to wash again. Now dishes, of course is a never ending job, but when that is my only job......you get the picture. So, I have all this free time on my hands, and nothing to do with it. Every business wants you to apply online, so that I can do, sitting on my couch.
But than, the other day, when I was really feeling like I am just totally useless/waisting time; and thinking that there has got to be SOMETHING I am missing here, because I am not getting any results, I realized something. I have/had been asking everyone to pray about me getting a job, but I had not prayed about it myself. Somewhere along the way, I slipped back into my old rut of "I can do this all by myself" and obviously, it was getting me nothing but a bad attitude. And that was when I thought to myself, "One of, if not the biggest on going lesson that God has been teaching me this past year and a half, has been complete reliance on Him." In Peru, it was easier, to rely on Him, because of the environment we were in, you really had no choice, trust God, or give up and go home. But here, in the USA, where life is comfortable, and there aren't huge spiritual challenges facing you every day, it is easy to think, "It's all right, I got this, I don't need any help." But the thing is, I DO need help. I CAN'T do this all by myself.
So, my new goal is; instead of always being SELF reliant, and then when I can't do it, going to God; I want to be GOD reliant, every time. When I need to do something, I want to run to God, first. I want this to become so much a part of my life, that it is almost like breathing to me. Isn't that the way we should all be?? So in love with God, and longing for His presence so much, that we are constantly running to Him?? Shouldn't our lives be so God focused, that when people see us, there is no doubt, that we have something they want?? Shouldn't that be every one's goal?? I believe so. And the best thing of all, is that when you run to God, you don't have to run very far, because he is always there waiting for you, with wide open arms.

Wow

2010-07-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

Of all the important lessons I’ve learned in Peru, the one lesson that I feel is the most valuable is, always expect the unexpected. Callie Pugel would always tell me, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” The past few months, I have definitely been experiencing some unexpected things. I came to Peru, having committed myself to 27 months of service; never once did I think that I would not complete that commitment. But God has plans that are higher than our own.
While in Arequipa, getting medical attention for my infection, in October of 2009 I met another 40/40 missionary, stationed in Iquitos, who was just finishing his Spanish training; We were given permission, by the leaders, despite the verbal “no dating” policy, to communicate and pursue a relationship. However, 7 months later, Extreme leadership decided to reconsider their decision, and after much prayer and many conversations with the leaders of Extreme we decided that God had called me home.
The past few months have been difficult; I have spent more time on my knees than ever before and feel that I have grown much in my faith. I may not ever understand the impact that our team had and is still having in Puerto Maldonado, but I know that God used me, even when I couldn’t see it. And I never could have survived had it not been for the many prayers and financial support that you so selflessly gave. Thank you so much for answering God’s call on your lives, and supporting me through all of the trials, and growth. You have blessed my life, more than you could know, and I will forever be grateful.
If you were supporting me financially by Electronic Bank Transfer (meaning you did not send in a check every month, rather it was automatically withdrawn from your account) through Crowne One, you will need to call the following number to stop the withdrawals. 287-2494
Thank you again for your support.

Happily Serving,
Wendy Sheets

Back to work

2010-05-31T12:44:00.000-07:00

So, we have been back to work for 2 weeks now. Things have been good. Surpisingly easy to adjust back to life here. I was relieved that we didn´t have a hard time. You never know when culture shock will rear its ugly head! But, praise God, we have all re-adjusted very well. I feel that our vacations helped everyone out. The atmoshphere in the house has been much better than it was before we left. God is working in our communities. People that we thought had moved, we were able to come into contact with again, and I feel that he has plans in store for Puerto that we may not see come to pass, but are preparing the feild for someone else. The people here are hard. They are not willing to hear the gospel. I often feel that we are cultivators here, and in some cases planters, but that further down the road, harvesters will come along, and reap what God has been preparing. Continue to pray for protection from the attacks of Satan. I know that I personally have already felt his arrows, and that often we are blinded and do not see what is happening, until damgae has been done. Pray that we will all have our eyes opened, and be aware of what is going on, so that we can be prepared to fight this battle. Pray that God will continue to work on the hearts of the people here, and that he will guide us all in what we are to do. And thank you for the prayers you have all been praying. We so desperatly need prayer cover to accomplish what God has called us here to do!

And the journey begins.......again

2010-05-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it is 2:00 AM here in Lima, Peru, and I am on my last leg of the longish journey to get back to Puerto. I left my house at 5:20 AM, yesterday, and have been, "on the road" since then. I am EXHAUSTED and it is not over yet. I don't fly out until 9:30 AM and I am not looking forward to spending my second night in the airport....but at least it is only for a few hours. At the rate I am going, I won't be sleeping at all. I did sleep on the airplanes, but as you all know, airplane sleep, is not like bed sleep. So, suffice to say, I am very much looking forward to my bed in Puerto. Also, HUGE praise, I am WAY excited to get back to work, something I was worried would not happen. I had gotten pretty down and discouraged about everything, and really run down. My vacation did just what it was supposed to, and God was faithful, and ONCE AGAIN answered my prayers. I feel rejuvenated, rested...well I WAS before I left! :) and ready to start our ministry again!! Our God is sooo awesome! Stay in prayer that this passion will not fade away when the tough times roll around, because we WILL have more tough times. And pray that no matter how tired, and run down I am, I will continue to rely on God, and be able to pour out my heart on the wounded and hurting people in Peru.

Once again goodbye for now.....

2010-05-11T17:59:00.000-07:00

As my vacation is coming to an end, I am finding myself both excited and reluctant to go back. These past few weeks here with my family, have been surreal, and amazing! I have so enjoyed seeing my family, and my friends again. The first morning here, waking up to the smell of coffee, bacon and the sound of the drier, almost brought tears to my eyes. It was so wonderful to have these past three weeks to recharge, and relax. As we head back to our ministry, I pray that all of us will be renewed and ready to work, that we will be able to give more of ourselves than before, and that God will continue to be faithful to us. Thank you for all of the prayers, and the support. I will be heading back with excitement for the last year of ministry!

Everything that has happened

2010-04-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have been putting this off, because there is sooo much to write, that I really don't know where to start. I guess that I should start with "The Strike". About a week before we left Puerto for Cusco, the miners began to strike. The government wants to shut down the mines, and the miners don't want them to, so they began to strike. Now you might be thinking, as I was, what good is that going to do? If the gov. wants to shut down the mines, then the miners striking will not do anything. But they strike differently in Peru, than they do in the states. We could not leave our house for two days. About 85% of the population was striking with the miners. They marched up and down the streets, and if anyone drove by, they would through rocks at them! The miners also talked with the people who work in the market, and most stores, so everything was closed for 2 days. We use taxis every day to get where we need to go, and there were no taxis. Olivia, Andrew and I, were scheduled to leave for Cusco, on Thursday. On Tuesday, we still could not leave. I was getting nervous. The gov. was flying in a bunch of military personnel to make sure that no one got violent. We were hearing rumors that the strikers were going to burn the airport. I was really starting to get nervous. But, thankfully, the strikers and the government were coming very close to finding a solution, and the strikers were going to take a break. We were able to go out to our areas on Wednesday, and get on our plane on Thursday. I was praising the Lord the whole way to the airport!
We got to Cusco, and we were excited and ready to work! I worked construction most of the time that we were there. We had a lot of fun, the day that we poured cement for the second set of stairs, because we all got covered in concrete, and decided to take pictures with the concrete on our faces like football paint! I also translated for the medical clinic one day when they needed extra help. That was interesting. People in Peru are so uninformed about general health. We did a lot of diet counseling. We also went on a tour of some of the ruins around Cusco the first Sunday that we were there. That was really fun! After two weeks in Cusco, Olivia, Andrew and I headed out for Lima! Our first leg on the journey to get home!!! We met up with Callie and the Smiths, and then we headed out!
After 24 hours of traveling, I landed in Boise. My welcoming party was a scene out of a movie! I was running to meet them, and my Mom ran to meet me and we had that huge hug! As soon as I had hugged everyone, I was able to hold my perfect, beautiful niece for the first time! It was amazing! The first Sunday at my home church was so wonderful. I was surrounded by the people that I love, and I was able to speak ENGLISH!!! It was wonderful.
I am getting nervous, as I am going to be preaching this Sunday. I would appreciate all the prayers of support. And I will update again soon!!

Cusco!

2010-04-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

I love Cusco! So far, I have been enjoying every minute of the cold weather. I worked construction on Friday, and I have never worked like that in my life! But it was good to feel like I did something useful. The project here is going really good so far. I will update again later when I have more time!

Wow....

2010-03-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

This last Friday, we went and talked to some of the girls in the Red Zone of Puerto Maldonado. For those of you who don´t know, that is the area in Puerto where there are Prostitue bars on every street corner. We split up our group, and Callie, Elisa, Tyson and I went out to talk to the girls from 9-10 and then Olivia, Ana, Carmen and Tyson went out from 10-11. I was nervous, as we all were, having never done this before, and not being sure of exactly how to approach it. We had fasted the day before, and spent time in prayer for the battle that we were about to fight. As Tyson was driving the moto, and we were getting closer to the Red Zone, I cold feel the opression of that area just get heavier and heavier. We walked into the first bar, and it was so dark, and loud in there. We sat down and ordered a coke, and then we didn´t know what to do. We were there a little bit early, as most of the time they don´t really get too busy utnil around 10. So, after about 10 minutes, we decided to go to a different bar. The one girl in the bar that we had asked to talk to, didn´t want to talk to us. As we were walking out, there was a girl sitting in the entrance. She works at the bar, and she was wating for a client. So, we decided to take this opportunity and talk to her. She was extremely nervous the entire 10 minutes that we were talking to her. Her name is Abril, and she didn´t really want to tell us much else. Our plan of action, with the girls, is to talk to them for a little bit, get to know some about them, tell them that God has a plan for their lives, and that we want to help them discover that plan. Then if they want to, they can come to a meeting the next day, at a safe place. So, we invited her to come if she wanted to.
On to the next bar. Here we talked to 3 girls, all of them very new at the job. I do not remember their names, as they said them all very quickly, but it was heart breaking to think that all 3 of those girls was new. Two weeks at the longest. When we first started to talk to them, it was obvious that they weren´t really intersted, but the more we talked, the closer they moved to us, and the more interested they seemed. Tyson was sitting at a table a little ways away, and he was praying the whole time. We invited all of these girls as well. Not surprisingly, no one showed up. This is perfectly normal. We are not going to let it discourage us. Every 15 days, we will be going out to the Red Zone, and trying to explain to those girls how much thier Heavenly Father loves them.
Be in prayer, as I feel that this has opened us up to many more spiritual attacks. The opression of those places is tangible. I felt like crying the entire time we were there. It is so dark. Satan has Puerto right where he wants it, so caught up in fulfilling these addictions, that they don´t even notice the path they are on. We are always under constant attack, but since that night, I have noticed an increase. We need all of the prayer cover we can get. Don't stop praying for us!!
On a lighter note, my Dad is coming down to visit a week from today! I am very excited to see him, it has been more than a year! And, we are all looking forward to our vacation in April!

And the ants go marching on....

2010-02-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

We have ants in our house. All of the time, although that is not exactly why I chose that title! No it is more like, we are working, and nothing much has been happening. I had been praying the last few months, asking God to please give us just one month without something big happening. I don't know if you all know this, but God DOES listen to our prayers! We have had a very uneventful month of February. And it is hard to believe that we have almost been in Peru for a year. The 25th is my official anniversary of the day I landed in Peru. So much has happened in this year. There have been so many changes, and we have all grown so much.
I am content. I am looking forward to my Dad visiting, the 10th through the 14th of March, and then in April we have our vacation. Olivia, Andrew and I are going to Cusco to help out with Family Zone, so we will actually be out of Puerto for 5 weeks. But, as much as I am excited to go home and finally see my family, and hold my niece for the first time, I am content here. Finally I feel that I am settled. I love our work here, and I am so excited to see what God is going to do here in Puerto. God is truly amazing!

Life in Peru

2010-01-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

So, we have had a rather interesting last few weeks. We had rain for one night and a day last week, which as most of you are thinking, is normal in the rainforest. And you are right, it is normal. Especially now, since we are in rainy season. But, as our house was built on a piece of ground, substantially lower than the surrounding lots, it just happend to cause a problem. The water tank, or cistern, or whatever it is called, that has all of our water, got flooded with nasty dirty rain water. We had standing water in our "front yard" that was a good 4 inches. It actually almost entered through the front door of the Smiths house. The trash cans got knocked over, because the water was so high that they were floating, and so the water that was standing in our front yard, had worms from the trash happily swimming in it. This is the same water, that flooded our water tank. Now, don't worry, this is not our drinking water. We get purified water in those big jugs to drink, but it is our tap water. So, we shut off the pump, because none of us wanted the tank in the attic to get contaminated. This meant that we needed to conserve water, aka, no showers. Let me repeat that with a little elaboration, we live in the Amazon Rainforest, even when it rains, it is hot; we go out every day and walk around for several hours every day; we use mosquito spray and sun screen, and if it is dry outside, we are covered in dust, and if it is wet, we are covered in mud. So when we come home at the end of the day, we are stinky, sweaty, bugs spray, suncsreen, dirt covered individuals. And we couldn't take showers. To top it all off, the next night, the power went out, which means no fans. Not the best smelling situation in the world!! But, we did after 3 days get our water tank cleaned out. Tyson and Tracy worked tirelessly to fix our problem, they seriously deserve more thanks than we can give them. And at least for now we have clean water again!
I do have a prayer request. My partner Elisa, is heading to Arequipa this Monday for a week. She has been having some issues with her nervous system. Terrible headaches, and what appears to be 10 second epileptic type convulsions. The best way I can describe it is that it looks a lot like when you throw cold water in a baby's face and they suck in their breath and they jerk their hands rapidly. As the doctors here do not have much knowledge, we are sending her to Arequipa to get tested. Please pray that the doctors will have wisdom, and that they will find out what the problem is. I know that God has a plan that is much greater than we can imagine, and I am trusting him. And also pray for comfort for Elisa. And that for the week she is gone, I will have the best Spanish ever, so that I will understand everyone perfectly.
Callie is coming back on the 3rd! We are all excited to have her back! It will be nice to be our complete family unit again! Our ministries are going really well. God has truly blessed me in calling me here. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.

And here is the new year....

2010-01-09T07:50:00.000-08:00

Since I haven't updated this for a while; Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! This year was the first time I have celebrated Christmas and New Years without my family. It was both difficult and fun. I learned new traditions, and missed a lot of the old ones. I also learned that I am just fine without all of those traditions I have always thought were so important. We have had a busy, stressful, and at times painful last few weeks. One of our own, Callie, went home for personal reasons. She will be coming back February 4th at the latest. I am very excited for her to come back, as Callie and I have been together from the day we left the states. I got sick, and was not able to work for a week. I finally consented and went to the doctor, but as I suspected, it was just a very bad cold, and I am now feeling much better. The doctor put me on some antibiotics that are supposed to just take care of any kind of general infection. Dengue is going around right now, so prayers would be appreciated; there is actually nothing that they can do for Dengue, so none of us want to get it. It really has been a emotional roller coaster as of late. I have learned to trust in God on a whole new level. But seriously, sometimes I wish that we could have profound spiritual growth without having to go through the tough times.
All of us are feeling the attacks of Satan. People are always telling me that he wouldn't be attacking us if God didn't have big plans, and if we weren't actually making progress. It is true, we are making progress, and Satan does not want us to be a light here, but it does not make it any easier. I cannot begin to explain how imperative it is for us to have adequate prayer cover. As cliche as it sounds, we truly are on the front lines of the battle here, and without the proper support (prayer cover) we will be hard pressed to win. That is what Satan wants. He wants to tear us down to the point where we are so discouraged that we go back home, and he wants to distract those at home, so that we don't have the prayer support we need. Don't stop praying!
Because I was sick, I did not go to our first official church service in La Joya, but this last Tuesday, I did. There is nothing like seeing people eager to learn about God. It was an amazing experience to see what we have been preparing for, and praying for, become a reality. Mission work may be one of the most draining, difficult jobs, but it is also one of the most fulfilling! We have between 4-6 adults that come, and between 15-25 kids. Tuesday nights, are my favorite nights in our ministry!
A few days after Christmas, Olivia, Andrew, the Smiths and I went to a fair that was down the road from our house. It had a ferris wheel, and a huge blow up slide that was extremely fun! We had a blast, and it was great to just laugh and blow off some steam. And just so you know, Peruvian ferris wheels are a lot faster than the ones we have in the states. On this particular ferris wheel, you could spin the basket you were in while you were moving, so Andrew made Olivia and I sick. But it was so much fun! The blow up slide, was my favorite part. You went to so fast! Olivia and I actually went down backwards, and head first at the same time, which if you are already feeling sick, is not the smartest thing to do. But it was totally worth feeling sick to have that much fun, and feel carefree for a while!
Life here is always different. I am learning that I can't even expect the unexpected, because it is normally more unexpected than I could have expected. (try figuring that one out!) :) But, God has been faithful, and he carries me through when I don't have the strength to walk on my own. We truly have an awesome God, and I am very blessed to have been called here to serve! :)

The moto adventure

2009-12-12T11:16:00.001-08:00

This morning, Tyson, who just recently bought a moto, decided that he wanted to drive Elisa and I to our community. As Callie and Carmens community that day was on the way, all four of us girls piled into the moto, with Tyson and Kai up front. And so the adventure began. I was sitting on the girls laps, and in case you didn't know this, the majority of people in Peru, are short. So, I was half sitting half laying on Callie, Carmen and Elisa, so that I wouldn't hit my head. Something else, that most of Peru has, is really bad roads. Combine that with the big rain we had last night, and a, shall we say, novice driver, and you have a very, in my opinion, funny situation. We were driving, actually bouncing along, and we accidentally ran over a little dog. It was sad, and, sadly enough, kind of funny! Then, we managed to miss the turn off, and had to take the next road down. Just so happens that they were doing construction on that road, so a ride that is already bumpy, turned into what felt like we were driving over small mountains. There was a huge back-hoe in the middle of the road, and we had to drive around it without being able to see if there were people coming from the other side, or even being sure that the guy driving the back-hoe could see us. My heart just about stopped when we were almost going to gun it and a motorcycle came zooming around from the other side! We finally got to the corner where we needed to drop of Callie and Carmen, and we continued on our adventure. There was a huge mound of dirt in the middle of the other road that we had to take to get to our community, so once again, we gunned it hoping that there was no one on the other side. There wasn't! After about another 10 minutes of bouncing and jolting, Tyson delivered us safely to our community. So, we had a fun adventure this morning, and laughed through out it all! I am sure that God was laughing along with us!!

I am an Aunt!!!!

2009-12-04T10:39:00.001-08:00

I am now an Aunt!!! My precious little niece was born December 2nd 2008. 8lbs 8oz 21 inches long! I have yet to see pictures, but I know that she is beautiful! Little Gwen Natalie Shenk. I must admit, that when I was waiting all day Tuesday to find out if she was here yet, and then that night when I couldn't get a hold of anyone because they were all busy with my sister, I had a little bit of a break down. Living here in Peru, is not just amazing and wonderful and rewarding, but it is also extremely difficult to be away from your family, and miss big events that you can never see again. But, my wonderful friends were there for me, and when I found out the wonderful news on Wednesday, they all rejoiced with me. I am more than excited for my vacation home when I get to finally hold my little niece, but I know that I still have to wait. I am so blessed to have the family that I do, both at home, and here! I still can't believe it, my name is now Aunt Wendy. Good grief, I sound OLD!!! :)

Turkey day without the Turkey???

2009-11-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

Yup, you heard it right. We are going to be celebrating Thanksgiving without Turkey this year. Without Turkey, without the cold, without football, without our families; this Thanksgiving I find myself celebrating wihtout most of the traditions that I have cherished my entire life. But, I am so thankful. I am here, in Peru, serving the Lord. I am living my life in the center of God's will. Sure, I am not with my family, but instead I have my family in Christ; we aren't going to have Turkey, but even the Piligrims did not eat Turkey for their first Thanksgiving, they were giving thanks for just having thier lives. I have so much more to be thankful for! I woke up this morning and I thought, I have a choice today, I can choose to be sad that I am not home, joining in the festivities, I can be depressed that I am missing out on so much, OR, I can choose to be thankful for the new experiences, for the chance to teach our Peruvian counterparts about a truly wonderful holiday. This Thanksgiving, we are not even celebrating, we are postponing the actual festivities for Monday, when all of our group will be together. Monday is our day off, so we will have time to prepare the feast. We will be eating chicken, and we will be attempting to make the other dishes that we are used to. But, as I contemplate all of this, I can't help but think that I have such a wonderful opportunity to really celebrate the true meaning of this day; Giving thanks. It isn't about the traditions, although they are wonderful, and ask anyone who knows me I LOVE traditions; it is about looking at your life, and giving thanks for the blessings the Lord has given us. So on this day, I am thanking the Lord that I have been blessed to have this unique perspective of a day who's signifigance, all too often, gets lost in the midst of all those traditions.

We are here!!!!

2009-11-19T15:26:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I am so very sorry that I have not been able to up-date for a while. We have actually been in Peurto for about 3 weeks now....oops. Now this was not one of those times when I just didn´t take the time to sit down and acutally write, no, this was one of those times, when I tried every time I used the internet to sign in to my blog, and it would not let me. Apparently I choose to use the internet when it is extremely slow. But, thank the Lord, I am now able to let you all know what has and is going on in our lives. So be prepared, this is going to be a very long post!

We arrived here on Tuesday, November 3rd, and we were not allowed to go inside our house. We were allowed to see the outside, but not actually go in. They actually told us that we couldn´t go past the front gate, but me being the rebel that I am, just had to jump over the ¨line.¨ Anyway, they wanted to save the house, for the dedication service that night. That way, everyone who had been working on our house could see our reactions. So, we waited anxiously for the moment to arrive. While we were waiting, we went to the market, and bought a few household necesities. The market here is like a giant scavenger hunt. At least right now it is. We didn´t know where anything was so we got to spend twice as much time, just looking for the right area. It was actually really fun, and I very much enjoy going to the market. Which is weird for me, because normally I want to get things done the most efficient way possible. Okay, I am getting off track. The whole group went out to a beautiful restaurant that is about an hours drive into the jungle. It has a pool with a water slide, and it is just amazingly beautiful. So, the short term group, and our 40/40 group got to spend some quality time together. I so very much enjoyed getting to know the people, who took time out of thier lives, spent money, and came down to this hot, sticky place, to build a house for me. I cannot begin to describe how unworthy I felt and feel that there were people thanking me, for allowing them to be a part of this, for answering God´s call on my life. This group was truly an example to me of how to selflissly give. After a wonderful lunch and a message from Brian that had us all crying, everyone gathered around and prayed for us. It was a very powerful moment. Then we all headed back to the hotel, where the short termeres were staying, and got ready for the dedication service that night. About this time, I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. We had spent the last day in Lima, and had stayed up realtively late talking to Brian, who had flown with us. Then we had gotten up at 4:30 to catch our flight to Puerto. But, we still had a lot of day left!

Around seven we all gathered in the half finished church building that is right next to our house. The dedication service was beautiful. Pastor Segundo Rimarachin gave the message on Acts 16, and it was very powerful. Finally, we were allowed to see our house. I have no words to describe how beautiul our house is. We live in a palace. We had cockroaches, and bats, and no ceiling in Iquitos, and here we have beautifully tiled floors, a bathroom in our bedroom! A kitchen that is so beautiful, a living room, our very own washing machine, and FANS!!! It was just more than I could have imagined. I am so thankful to all of the wonderful people who had a part in building our house. Whether it was financial help, or prayer, or actually doing the work with thier hands. Every part was important, and I can never say thank you enough. We have the most beautiful palace to come an relax in.

Our ministry is going much better than I had expected. We have three areas that we are simultaneously working in. Dividing our time up. We work Tuesday through Saturday, and sometimes on Sunday if that is the only day that people have free for us to visit. Monday is our day of rest, and we sure to rest! Elisa and I already have three new believers in La Joya; two rededications, and one very intersted person in La Plaza; and some really promising contacts in El Triunfo. We are going to be showing the Jesus film in El Triunfo this Friday, the 20th, and then on Saturday, the 21st we are having a festival for the kids. We will have a short drama demonstrating the love that God has for us, and of course games and balloons and fun. Be in prayer for these events that God will use them in a mighty way to reach the people of El Triunfo.

We just finished a workshop this past Tuesday and Wednesday, and I actually don´t know the name of it. But it was incredibally impactful. We were able to really talk about the problems that we have had in our group. Crazy that with 6 girls, from two cultures, two boys, also from different cultures, and one family with a child could ever have problems in learning to live together, but believe it or not we did, and I am sure always will. But, in this work shop, we were given a safe place, and a healthy way to be able to express these issues. Hearts and minds were unburdended, conscienses were cleared, and it was a wonderful time of healing and self discovery. We each were taught how to cultivate those qualities that we normally don´t try to work on, or don´t believe that we have, and we learned how to express our problems in a healthy and constructive way. I am so thankful that we had the opportunity to learn these valuable lessons.

Continue to pray for our ministry, but also be in prayer for our team. That we will be able to bond more as a team, and continue to keep this openess. We are all so excited to se what else God has planned for Puerto Maldonado!

I do not like doctors....

2009-10-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

So, on Friday night, Michelle and I went to the doctor to get my leg checked out. I already felt much more comfortable with the doctor here, he just seemed to know what he was doing. He cleaned out my leg with some gauze and some saline. He was very gentle, which I so very much appreciated. Turns out that one of the antibiotics that the doctor in Iquitos had me on was for a respiratory infection. Let me repeat that; the doctor in Iquitos, the one who squeezed on my leg for a half an hour, and put a strip of a latex glove inside of my leg, had me on antibiotics for a respiratory infection, because THAT must have been what was causing my infection on my leg....suffice to say, we were glad, actually more relieved that I am now in Arequipa where not only do they have much better medical attention, Michelle is here to clean out my leg every day. She is actually a wound specialist, so of all the things I could have, I guess I picked the best one. We went again to the doctor on Sunday, and they cleaned it out again, it was not nearly as painful this time, I actually couldn't feel a lot of what she was doing. Michelle said that is because the tissue in my leg is dead. We are still a little bit concerned, because when Michelle cleans out the wound, by squirting saline inside of the hole, the skin around it balloons out. The hole that I have in my leg is big enough to fit the end of a q-tip into, but the area around it, that balloons out, is about the size of a quarter. So, we might have to cut open my leg, to make sure that all of the infection is out, and start packing it with gauze. Now that I am on the correct antibiotics, the redness and swelling has gone down a lot, making it very easy to see the bruises I have from the doctor in Iquitos. Yes, he bruised me. The other infection, that is down by my ankle, is looking better. They really worked on it yesterday, using tweezers to try and extract the puss. It hurt, I cried. So, I know that I have to get healthy, and the only way to do that is to go to the doctor, but I think that for the rest of my life, I will not like doctors. Or syringes.....

Not again!!

2009-10-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

So, I have another infected bug bite. And this one is bad enough that I had to got to the doctor, and have him literally squeeze the crap out of my leg, for a half an hour, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On Tuesday, he squeezed out a lot of....shall we say material, that was a really dark purple color, and there was a lot of puss as well. It was so painful, and I really thought that I was going to puke once. After he had just reamed on my leg, and he couldn't get anymore out, he used a syringe without a needle, and forcefully pushed/injected iodine mixed with alcohol into my leg, which hurt even more. He did that like 4 times. Finally we were done for the day, and he told me that I would have to come back the next day, and then if we couldn't get all of it out the next day, then we would have to put something into my leg, like a drain or something. I couldn't understand it all. So,I got up on Wednesday morning, and waited anxiously for 4:00 to come. We went to the doctor (we meaning Tracy and I) and he proceeded to ream on my leg again, for another half hour! Then he did the syringe thing all over again, but this time, when he injected it, it foamed and made this huge, orange, literal volcano start to come out of my leg. It was orange because of the iodine. Now just imagine the sound that hydrogen peroxide makes when you pour it on things, and multiply it by about 10, add in the fact that it was forcefully erupting out of my leg, and you just about have it. But, don't forget about the pain, I had hydrogen peroxide INSIDE my leg, the part of my leg that is infected. The very same part that the doctor had been reaming on for the last two days. It hurt, need I say more? Then, he cut a small strip of a latex glove, dipped it in iodine, and proceeded to shove it into the gaping hole that I now have in my leg. It was the first time during all of this, that I cried, and actually did more then grunt, I sort of yelped. We were told once again, that we would have to come back the next day. Now, I noticed that another one was beginning to appear on the same leg, but much lower down, by my ankle. I have been taking 2 different types of antibiotics, along with a anti-inflammatory. And yet a new one is now appearing. We went back to the doctor, and he did the same drill, orange volcano, reaming, plastic, you need to return tomorrow. So, last night, Tyson and Tray decided that I need to come to Arequipa, so that Michelle can keep an eye on me, and we can test my blood. We are thinking there might be a more serious problem. It was a bit of a shock last night, to realize, the week and a few days that I thought I was going to have left to say goodbye to everyone, had now changed to one night, and part of the next morning. I cried the hardest that I ever have in Peru. I am going to miss my family from Iquitos terribly. I hate goodbyes. But, I am trying to focus on the positive. At this moment, I am using what feels like lighting fast internet, I am drinking a Starbucks coffee for the first time in 5 and a half months, I get to meet the new group of 40/40s, and hang out with everyone in Arequipa, and if I heal fast enough, I might be able to go to Puerto earlier! So, all of the prayers would be appreciated!

Bittersweet

2009-10-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

On November 2nd we are leaving Iquitos. I knew that we would not be staying here when we arrived, but I didn't think that I would become this attached to the people here in Iquitos. I can't believe that in 3 weeks we will have to say another set of goodbyes. I honestly did not think of this part of missionary life when I was preparing to leave. I knew that I would have to say goodbye to my family, and I knew that in Puerto I would become attached and miss the people when I come back home, but I was so focused on Puerto, that I never thought about Arequipa and Iquitos. We have meshed as a group through all of our trials here. We have grown so close to Pastor Abiatar and Herman Mahgna, and their sons Gerson and Kelvin. And Pastor Antonio, and his wife Milena, and their little boy Jhin. I don't want to have to say goodbye. I would love to be able to just take them all with me to Puerto. It is such a strange feeling, to be ready, and anxious to get to Puerto and start working, but at the same time, to be so sad that we have to say goodbye. I continue to be amazed at the many faucets of missionary life. I will never forget the people here, they have truly become a part of my family, and I can't wait for the day when I can return here and visit them all again!

Wow...

2009-10-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Just this past weekend, God used me to save a life. It was awesome! We are very close to the district superintendents family here; often we are in their house hanging out. Thursday evening around 6:30 I was sitting in their living room, when their oldest son Gerson came into the room. He looked preoccupied. He looked at me and asked me if my blood type was A+ (something I should have known, but didn't)he then proceeded to tell me that one of his friends, her name is Shusha, had just had a baby, and that during the birth she had hemorrhaged. The placenta was still inside her, and they needed to do a surgery, but had not found a blood donor that matched yet. I didn't even think twice, none of us did, Callie, Olivia, Elisa and I grabbed our passports and residency cards, and headed out to the hospital. We all got tested, and then we had to wait, to see who was a match. Praise the Lord, I was! We had all been praying that at least one of us would be a match. During the time we were waiting, the mother of Shusha told me that they had been looking for a donor since the Saturday before! I was shocked! So we were able to go up to the room and see her and her baby, and pray with them. The baby was so beautiful, and little. Shusha was as white as I am, and she is Peruvian, not a good sign. But, I was able to donate. As were Elisa and Olivia. They both had o+ but there were some other people who had been looking for a donor as well, so they were able to help those people. We were at the hospital until 1:00. It was a long night. But, Shusha had the surgery a day later, and she is now at home, healthy, and alive. It was so cool to see how God uses us in ways we never expected. I knew that I would be helping people here, but I didn't think that it would be in this capacity. All I can say is, we have a totally awesome God!!

Keeping the passion

2009-09-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have learned that it is not an easy thing to remember the passion you felt when you were first called to be a missionary. The first part of our trip, in Arequipa, was a cake walk. We had great weather, internet whenever we wanted, access to "American" food, and a group of English speakers that we could hang out with whenever we wanted. We were only there for 3 months, and so everything was still new and exciting! But here, the monotony of the days is something we are constantly fighting against. We go to school Monday through Friday, from 8:30 until 12:30 or 1:00 depending on the professor. Lunch follows. Then we work on homework, and depending on what day it is we go work with our churches that we are helping. Tuesday and Thursday nights we have church. Sunday morning and night as well. Other than that we have free time, but the thing about that is, there is nothing to do here, and if there was, we have no money to do it with. So, it gets a little bit, well, boring at times. We have the occasional "work and witness" project that we do on Saturdays. It is a rather frustrating feeling, knowing that this part of our training is necessary, but not liking it. Wanting to get down to Puerto Maldonado, and start our work, but not being able to leave yet.
As far as personal relationships go, we are really starting to connect on more than one level! It is truly amazing to see in so many different faucets, how God hand-picked each one of us. I am constantly amazed at the finite plans of God. As a group, especially "the girls", we are all starting to be able to understand jokes, and laugh and play together. Communication is increasing with every day. I am so thankful that God has brought me here. These things, they help so much with keeping that passion alive. Pray for us, as we will be leaving in about 6 weeks. Pray that God will be preparing Puerto for the harvest. Pray that we will remember what we have learned here, and that God will give us all wisdom. And we will be praising God for the amazing blessings he has given us!

Ummmm

2009-09-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

So I noticed that there are some really wierd looking computer language things in the front of my last post, not sure why those are there...oh well. Things here have been fairly unaventful, and hot. We had a watermellon eating contest, and Callie won. That was fun. I can´t believe that it is already the middle of September. We will be leaving here on the second of November. Time has gone by so fast. I can´t believe that we will be starting our ¨real¨ job. I am so excited and at the same time, incredibally nervous! I haven´t updated my blog, because really nothing has been happening here. But, things will be happening soon! Keep us in your prayers!

Don't scratch your bug bits, and other things I have learned...

2009-08-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

Don’t scratch your bug bites, they will get infected! That is one of the things I have learned lately. So I scratched this one, apparently while I was sleeping, and it got all infected and gross. My whole foot and ankle swelled up, and I had to take antibiotics. It was pretty painful, but it is healing now, and it doesn’t hurt anymore. Also, even though we live in the rain forest, because it is “dry” season, we have had about a week of no rain. When it rains, everything cools down. When we first got here, it rained almost every night, which was really nice, because sleeping in the heat, is not easy. But, lately, we have been using our fans non-stop, taking showers (cold water, that is all you get here anyway) right before bed, and sleeping without sheets. This last Sunday, we laid on the floor, with the fan on us, in the relative shade of our room, all afternoon. It was too hot to do anything else. If you were thinking too hard, you would be dripping wet from sweat! But, apparently we are supposed to be getting rain within the next week. I think I will just stand out in it. I am going to quote Andrew here, “I never thought I would say that I miss the rain in the rainforest!” that just about sums up all of our emotions. As I write this, I am sitting with a fan blowing on me, and I am still sweating, enough to have it trickle down my back. Those of you who know me well, will know that is very abnormal for me. I NEVER sweat like that in the states, even if I run in 100 degree weather. But, the Lord has given us the strength and endurance to withstand it. J Other then the heat, things here in Iquitos are great. We hit our half way mark of school just the other week. At the end of this week Olivia and the Smiths will have been in Peru for 6 months! Callie and I will have our “anniversary” on the 23^rd. We are all pretty excited about that. A “whole” half of a year in Peru. J That also means that we will only have 7 months until we come home for vacation.

Our Spanish is doing better. We have continually been saying that each professor is very easy to understand, to me it seems that each one must speak slower and use smaller words, but just the other day, I realized that it is probably because we are understanding and speaking Spanish much better than we were 3 months ago. It is always nice to see those things, because when you are in it, you feel that you are making no progress. It is hard to believe that only 6 months ago, I could only say “hola” and “donde esta el bano” but now, I am able to hold a conversation with most people. As long as they don’t start talking about things that I don’t have the vocabulary for. If it has anything to do with electronics, or cars, or sewing, and who knows what else, I have a hard time speaking/understanding, because I don’t have the vocabulary necessary. But, in everyday life, for the most part, I am able to get along fairly well. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me! Don't stop! The Devil will be using everything he can to try to stop our ministry here!

All that has happened

2009-07-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

I have a very hard time keeping my blog updated, which is pretty obvious! My last post was in May! I never seem to have the time to sit down and wait for the internet to upload everything so that I can update everything. But when I wait, then I have to write more to update everyone, and it just all compounds. So, here is the best update that I can do for the last month; School is still going on, it has been very fun at times and also very hared. Our last professor, was amazing! We had hardly any homework, and we got out of class about 2 hours earlier then we were supposed to, every day! In the second-ish week of July, our mappers came here and stayed for 8 days. Ryan and Chadwick. There job is to take pictures and videos of all of our future church sites, so that everyone state-side can see what everything is like here. It was nice to have some of our extreme family here. We are always excited to see new faces from the states! I went to my first soccor game here. It was so fun! Brad came down here about 2 weeks ago to start working on our room. We now have a ceiling, painted walls, and a tiles floor! It is nice to feel like we are living in an actual room rather then a big cement building. This last Monday, we went to Fumento. It is a little village out in the jungle. We took a boat, that was more like a floating box, down the Amazon river for 12 or 14 hours. I am not sure how long exactly, I didn´t count. We left our house around 7 in the morning, got on the boat around 8 and arrived at Fumento somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30. After our boat landed, we had to walk for about an hour before we got to the acutal village. So we arrived, and were shown the church where we would be staying. We layed out our little mats, and put up our mosquito nets. And then were told that there was supper for us. At this point I was more tired then hungry. After spending 14 hours on a tiny boat, getting sunburnt, and eaten by mosquitos once the sun went down, all I really wanted was to sleep. But in the jungle, you don´t turn down food! It is considered very rude. And you should try to eat everything that is given to you. So we sat down to fish and plantains. The fish had been caught, gutted, wrapped in a banana leaf and cooked over a fire. They still had their heads, and eyes and scales. But it actually tasted really good! Olivia and I shared a mosquito net, because hers had holes in it, and there wasn´t enough room to put up all of our nets. I was glad that we did, because strangely enough, it gets really cold at nights when you are out in the jungle! We ended up huddling together to stay warm! We got up around 6:30 the next morning. We had devotions, and then sat down to breakfast, which was once again, fish and plantains. Then we walked to an even smaller village. It was about a 15 minute walk further into the jungle. We were going from house to house inviting people to come to church that night, when we came up to the river. I made a comment that I wanted to swim in it, and the natives were immediately telling us that we shouldn´t because there are boas and piranahs in the water. The day before, a young man had gone fishing, and he haden´t come back. No one knew where he was. It was a very strang thing, because this boy knew how to swim. So we prayed with them, and then walked back to Fumento. We ate lunch, wich was actually chicken and rice and potaotes, which was a nice change. And then because it was the hottest part of the day, we all took naps. Everyone does that in the afternoons here. When in Rome.....right? Around 4 we went outside and played with most of the kids. It was so fun to watch them laugh and play and have fun! I had fun just watching them! We also played a short game of soccor with the women that live there, while the men were having thier own game. Then us girls walked down to the ¨washing hole¨ and took a ¨bath¨ in the river. Basically we used a bucket to scoop up the water, then we just lathered and rinsed! We had a good church service, with our skit that we had created a while back. Everyone loved it, especially the kids! We then ate supper, which was fish and plantains, again! We planned to walk out of the jungle the next morning, instead of taking another boat, so we wanted to get up really early. We decided on 5:30, so we got up and packed our stuff, ate breakfast, which was eggs and plantains! It was nice to have eggs instead of fish. We didn´t actually leave until around 8! The sun was already up, so it was starting to get hot. We had to walk back through the village where the boy had gone missing, and when we were walking through, we saw a lot of people standing around a house, and on a table, there was a body, wrapped in a white sheet. That morning at 5 his body had floated to the top of the river. It was really strange to see that, it was the first time that I had seen a body that close up, in that manner. It was such a surreal experience. We ended up walking for only an hour, and then took a canoe, boat, thing. It was really small, and we crammed 12 people and their bags in to this canoe. We floated for 2 hours, and then took a bus for an hour and finally we were home! We got to take showers! They were glorious! We had a very good, and strange experience in the jungle, and now, I have bites all over from the mosquitos!

Murcielgos???

2009-05-29T14:08:00.000-07:00

In case you are wondering, that means bats in Spanish. Yes, there are bats in the jungle. In fact, there are bats living in the walls of our room. Every night they "sing" us to sleep. I never thought that I would get serenaded by bats. But, I also never thought that I would be living in the jungle! So, Tuesday, the pastor closed off a hole that was between the peak of our roof and the wall. He tried to get the bats out first, but, I don't think that he succeeded. Because that night, it sounded like 6 bats were yelling and screaming hysterically all night. None of us could sleep. I think one of them got closed into the wall. So then Wednesday, the pastor climbed back up there, and really tired to find the bats. He scared out a few, but they just flew to another part and hid again. The other nights were peaceful. Today, he is covering the walls in cement. Before they were cinderblock bricks, that have holes in them. The bats were living in those holes. Hopefully now, we will not have anymore bats. I am happy, but I think I will miss them. I wanted to name them. After all, they were our room mates for a week! We also had a very big rain storm last night. It was my first rain forest rain storm. It was so loud! Our roof is tin, so that just amplifies it. But I like the sound of the rain. It is a different experience to have it raining so hard that we can't hear eachother unless we are only inches apart! I like it here. It is so new all of the time!

I am here!!

2009-05-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! So I am in Iquitos. Sorry that I haven't updated my blog. The internet here is not very good. I just found a cafe that has fairly good internet. So I will try to update. It is hot and wet and sticky. But I love it here! We are now with our partners. My partners name is Elisa. We get along very well. We have school for 5 hours every morning in spanish, so pray that we pick up spanish faster then is possible. It is not easy to constently be speaking and using spanish! But other then that, everything is going really good!!

Our last big bash?

2009-05-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

Last night, we decided to switch up our weekly Monday Bible study. Normally the 40/40s and the Smiths get together for a night of worship and sharing. But last night, we had planned to meet at the office with the Smiths. They had asked us if we wanted to go out to eat. When we got to the office, Tyson told us that we were going to use Daniels car to go on a driving prayer tour of the city. I was excited. Other times when I have participated in something similar, it was always a wonderful experience. We started out by just praying over the office. Afterwords, we all piled into Daniels slug bug. So Tracy, Callie, Olivia, Kai and I were all in the back seat. It was, interesting.......but we had so much fun! I am sure that God was looking down on us and just laughing right along with us! Then we stopped at Tyson and Tracy's church. We prayed over it as well. Our next stop was going to be Carmen Alto. It is a lookout that has a amazing view of the city. But none of us had eaten yet so we stopped to eat. We ate at a restaurant that had more choices then I have ever seen! And so many desserts it was dangerous! Tyson changed his order for his drink like 5 times! It was so funny. Most of the people in our little cluster support family, are not very decisive people, so it was very amusing for me, someone who almost never has a problem deciding on things, to watch the almost child like reaction to all of the choices! Tyson wanted to get a ice cream cone right before we left, but he had to drive. We threw the idea of Andrew holding it for him, but that seemed unsafe. Tyson made a comment that it would be sort of hard to pray with a ice cream cone, and Olivia said "no it would be like a microphone to God's heart." Suffice to say we were all laughing so hard we were crying! At our last stop we went to the future sight of a event we are doing here in a year. We prayed over it. I think that God had a fun night watching us. We were all a little bit giggly while we were praying. Some people may see that as rude, or disrespectful. But none of us had that attitude. We were just finding so much joy in eachothers company! And I think that God found the same if not more joy in our joy. After all, he did create joy!!!

I am leaving soon!

2009-05-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

So in just short of a little longer then a week, we are leaving Arequipa, and heading for Iquitos. We are taking an all night bus to Lima, and then when we get to Lima, hopefully our residency cards will be ready. Then we take a plane to Iquitos! I am excited and nervous, and wondering how everything is going to go. I am some what worried about the weather and the bugs, but I know that God is going to make everything work out, and no matter what we go through, he will be there for us! I am so excited!! So I would appreciate a lot of prayer!

Another crazy taxi experience....

2009-05-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

Last night we went out for Tysons birthday. Olivia, Callie and I had stayed at Tyson and Tracy's house to watch Kai for the afternoon while they went to the office to take care of some stuff. We were all going to go together to go out to a restaurant called El Gapon. They make the best chiken you have ever had! We were sitting there, watching Kai, when we heard a knock on the door. And what do you know, it was Andrew. Then, Tyson and Tracy came back and we all decided to pile into one taxi. So we had, Tyson, Tracy, Andrew, Olivia, Callie, Kai, and I, in one taxi. Andrew, Tyson, Tracy, Callie, and Kai, were all in the back seat. Tracy was half sitting on Tysons lap, with Kai on hers. I was sitting in the front seat, and Olivia was sitting on my lap. This taxi was bigger then the last one we were in, but it was not big enough for 6 adults and one child. And the taxi driver. Let's just say that Olivia and I were a lot closer then we have ever been in our entire lives. The entire time we were all just laughing so hard! It was so much more fun then it should have been! So we did make it succesfully to the restaurant and the food was amazing! And then afterwords, we all went to La Crepisimo. They make the best crepes in the world!! So I over ate, by a lot! I was so full that my stomach hurt! But it was totally worth it! I had a good night!

We are leaving soon!

2009-05-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

So, on the 21st of May, we are leaving Arequipa to go to Iquitos. I am a little bit nervous, and a lot excited. I am nervous because I will be going to college level classes, I have to get good grades, and apply everything, and all of the classes are going to be in Spanish. So that is a concern. I can understand a lot of Spanish, but for a college level class, I am not sure if my Spanish abilities are that good. So I would appreciate a lot of prayer for that. Prayer that for these last 2 weeks of school I will be disciplined enough to continue studiying, and prayer that I will understand and retain the information that I study. But, I am so excited to be moving on to the next phase of our training, that is one step closer to actually starting our "job"! That is a very exciting thought! And I am also very excited to be living in the jungle. I have always wanted to see the rainforest, so being able to live in it for 2 years is a exciting prospect. But, I am sure that when I have been living there for a while, I will get tired of the constant wet and heat. Oh well! I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I am excited to embark on this new phase of our project!

Life...??

2009-04-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

Life is such a beautiful, and strange and bittersweet experience. I am so thankful that I have been able to expereience the things that I have, and I pray that I will be able to live a full and long life, with many more amazing experiences. Today I did the devotion that we always do after our weekly lunch at the office. I had translated it ahead of time. Trying to give a devotion, in English and Spanish at the same time is different. It is so much harder to get your emotions across, because you are so worried about getting the Spanish correct! Spanish is going really good right now, I feel like I have been learning a lot lately. We just got done with all of the past tenses and believe me, there are a lot! I have now moved on to the present tenses. Which means I am getting closer to being done with the books that we are hoping to finish before we leave. That is a exciting and a very scary thought, because when we move to Iquitos, everything will be in Spanish! We will be living with peruvians, going to school that is totally in Spanish, and mostly just speaking Spanish 24/7! So I am praying that I will remember how to use everything that I have learned!! I would appreciate it if everyone will pray that as well. I am excited and I am anxious, and nervous and I am pretty sure I have other emotions that I don't even know how to express or give a name to!

God is good!

2009-04-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

So I am doing a lot better just so that everyone knows. This last week has been a lot better. I have started to run which has helped a lot, and I can feel all of the prayers that everyone has been praying for me. I appreciate it so much! :) I don't know what I would do without all of the prayers that I am getting. I am so excited to be moving to Iquitos soon, although I am also sad that I won't be here, this has become my home. But part of being a missionary is moving, Brian said it perfectly, you work yourself out of a job. Thank you to everyone who has been praying and keep praying....I will never stop needing them!

I am tired

2009-04-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

I knew that I would be going through culture shock, but I didn't think that I was going to be so depressed. I just keep on eating and eating and eating! I hate being this way. It isn't real bad, just enough to make me eat, all of the time. But I would appreciate all of the prayers I can get. I am going to make myself start to run again, and eat less. That should help, running always helps me when I am stressed or deprssed. So I would appreciate everyone praying that: A) I get through culture shock soon and B) I am able to keep up the running because not only does it help me emotionally, it is very healthy as well!

Got to love Peru!

2009-04-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

So last Friday, the 4th, yeah I know I should have written about this a long time ago! Anyway last Friday, we were hanging out at the office, we meaning the 40/40s, and Callie was talking to Brian, we have offered before to babysit their kids whenever they would like. And Callie mentioned that again. Brian took us up on the offer and so we all got a taxi together. We piled in with 3 backpacks, 4 bags of food, one rather large purse and 5 people. Callie was sitting on my lap at first but then we switched. We had to go to Plaza Vea so that Brian could get our plane tickets for when we go to Iquitos. We asked our taxi driver if he wouldn't mind waiting and he said that would be fine. So we sat in the taxi as we waited for Brian with 3 backpacks, 4 bags of food, one rather large purse and 4 people sitting in the tiny back seat of the taxi. 15 minutes later we were still waiting. So Callie went to see what was going on, somehow she must have not understood that she was supposed to come back and tell us what was going on. So we waited with 3 backpacks, 4 bags of food, one rather large purse but now only 3 people in the back seat. 10 more minutes and the taxi driver was starting to get very frustrated. He made a comment that maybe Brian was buying everything in Plaza Vea. So we sent Andrew in to see what was going on. He came back saying that it should only be 5 more minutes. But about 2 minutes later the taxi driver had to move his car because the cops told him he couldn't park there anymore. So we moved to the other side of the overpass where Callie and Brian would never be able to find us. So Andrew went to go tell them where we were, and we sat there with 3 backpacks, 4 bags of food, and one rather large purse. But not even 2 minutes after Andrew left, the taxi driver pulled out and parked the car on the other side of the road accross from Plaza Vea. The only problem was that now there was 3 lanes of trafic, one median with a rather large fence and 3 more lanes of traffic between us and Plaza Vea. So there we sat, 2 girls, 3 back packs, 4 bags of food and one rather large purse, and no way to tell anyone where we were at. Literally right after we had parked on the other side of the road, we saw Andrew coming out of Plaza Vea. Both Olivia and I jumped out of the car, steped on the seats and started to yell as loud as we could. Thank God that this really nice peruano man saw us yelling at Andrew. He pointed us out to Andrew and then proceeded to help him cross 3 lanes of traffic, 1 rather tall fence, and another 3 lanes of traffic. Brian had given Andrew money so we payed the taxi driver and then the three of us proceeded to cross the 3 lanes of traffic, walk around the rather tall fence and cross 3 more lanes of traffic, all the while carrying, 3 backpacks, 4 bags of food, and one rather large purse. And what do you know, as soon as we joined Brian and Callie in Plaza, they were done! We finally made it to Brians house! And we were finally able to put down our, 3 backpacks, one rather large purse, and use our 4 bags of food.
We ended up babysitting for the Englunds as well. So the four of us 40/40s were watching, Jana, Emma, and Kaylee. We had so much fun! Poor Andrew was the only guy, and I came up with the brilliant idea of dressing Andrew up as a princess! And Andrew, the good sport, not only let the girls, but he even posed for several pictures! Which I will be posting in about a week. Suffice to say, despite the crazy start to our evening, we had a blast! And I am so glad that the Lord has been working in and on all of us, because we were all laughing so hard the entire time!!!

Wait, What?!?!

2009-03-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

So I just found out today, that for the last month or so, I have thought that I was walking a lot. My host mother told us in spanish of course, that it was 5 kilometers to the Plaza de Armas from our house. Well she must have meant round trip because yesterday Andrew used his gps and found out that it is only like 1.5 miles. Yeah. So I was really bumbed. All this time I was thinking that I was making a 6 mile round trip. But no, only 3! Not to mention that I was mad at myself that I couldn't figure that out on my own. I mean really, you would think that I would know that it didn't feel like a 6 mile walk. So no more extra sweets. I have been thinking, oh it is ok, I can eat it! No big deal, I walk like 6 miles most days anyway! Well guess what Wendy that is not true! But really, I actually laughed! It is rather funny that I was not able to figure that one out! Language school is hard. I would really appreciate all of the prayers I can get that I will just learn so fast that it is almost miraculous! We only have like 55 days until we are done, so I am sort of freaking out right now!! Just keep all of us in your prayers.

Oh boy!

2009-03-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

I started this blog so that I could easily keep everyone updated, but I hate having to keep it up-dated! I have never been very good about this type of thing. I am great at e-mailing, but keeping a blog up-dated is deffinatly not the easiest thing for me. If anyone wants to know specific things to pray for, pray that all of us in language school learn Spanish like nobodys business! It has been a amazing experience so far. I have been so blessed, I have not gotten sick once and I have been here for a month yesterday! Just in case everyone doesn't know this, not getting sick within a few weeks of moving to a foreign country, is just short of a miracle. So praying that I never get sick would be nice as well! The other thing, that I would appreciate prayer for, would be getting my laptop to me. I didn't have one before I left because I had no time and deffinatly no money. My grandparents found out to late that I really wanted one. They just this week bought one for me and we were thinking that the next group of people who are coming down here in April could bring it. But the law is that you can only bring one computer per person, and everyone in this nexdt group is already binging their own computer. So pray that somehow God will work it out that I will be able to get it as soon as possible. I always feel so bad having to ask people if I can borrow thier computer. It is my only link with home as sending one letter here costs 8 soles! I am so thankful for all of the prayers and support that everyone has been giving me!

The Beach

2009-03-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

So although not everyone knows this fact, even missionaries need vacations! So this last weekend, the four 40/40s, Callie, Andrew, Olivia, and I, along with the Smiths, went to the beach. The Smiths are the family that are going to be our surrogate parents while we are all in Puerto Maldonado. Tyson, Tracy and their little boy Malakai, who we all call Kai. We were all so excited to be able to hang out on the beach and also get to know each other a little better so that when we do live together we won't be complete strangers! So we took a bus that was just like the tour buses we have in the states. We were even able to watch a movie. Although it was a old Jackie Chan movie that was origionally made in Japanese or Chinese, not sure which one, and had been dubbed over to Spanish. I just listened to my ipod and zoned. The bus ride took about 3 hours and then we were on the beach! We went to a nice small and quite beach town called Majia. The director of our language school has a beach house there that she let us stay in for the weekend. We were so excited that as soon as we dropped our stuff off at the house we all made a beeline to the beach. It was about a 5 minute walk from our house to the beach. The sand is really soft and gray. So we all were walking a long the beach, and because of where we are in accordance to the equator the sun sets very early and rises very early! It was about 7 and the sun was gone by then, when we realized that we hadn't brought anything for us to eat because trying to pack food safely on a bus ride is crazy! But the beauty of such a small beach town is that there are also no safe looking resturants! There was one big building right on the beach that looked like a hotel or something. So we decided to see if we could eat dinner there. Tyson asked the lady at the desk but she said that it was a member only club and we couldn't eat there. So then he asked her if there was anywhere else that she knew of that we could eat. She couldn't think of anywhere, so she called someone and we were allowed to eat there! We were so excited! It was a very nice place, all open air and just beautiful. Both Olivia and I ordered MahiMahi fish and it was so amazing! Everyone else ordered chicken, and when we got the check we saw that the chicken and the fish cost the same! So Olivia and I were pretty pleased with ourselves! The next day we played in the ocean and layed around on the beach and just had a blast hanging out. All of us 40/40s were on the beach the longest and we all got burned. But what is a good day at the beach without a sun burn right!? That night we decided that since we could choose what we could eat for dinner we were going to eat good old American food. So we walked to a little corner store and bought eggs, bacon, mac and cheese and juice. We ate so much food that night because it was just like food at home in the states! Then we just all sat around in the house and talked. It was really good to get to know each other some more! Suffice to say we had a great time on the beach and I am so glad that missionaries get vacations too!

Washing clothes

2009-03-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

So here in Arequipa, Callie and I have to wash our clothes by hand. Something neither one of us have done before! Our host family has two sinks outside that you use to wash. Thankfully one of the faucets has warm water. So we carried our huge piles of dirty clothes down two flights of stairs, and begin to attempt to wash our clothes. I am sure that there is a technique for this, but I don't know what it is! We were up to our elbows in soapy water, vigorously rubbing, and swishing, and sloshing our clothes around in the water. We both ended up looking at each other at the same time and we just cracked up and laughed so hard! I am sure that we looked ridiculous two white girls up to their elbows in soapy water, lughing hystericaly! We then had to lug our wet but clean, well at least semi clean clothes up the stairs because our host family for some reason doesn't want us to hang our clothes on their clothes line. We had wet clothes hanging all over our room for 3 days! The Lord told us to rejoice in everything, well Callie and I have no problem with that in the laundry department! I hope that soon we will get the technique figured out! Life here has already been such a crazy experience, I cannot begin to imagine how different life will be in Pucallpa and then Puerto Maldonado! The Lord has promised to never leave us, I cling to that!

Arequipa

2009-03-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! So I have a hard time remembering to up date this but I am trying. I decided this time to write about just sort of how Arequipa is. I love this city. It is beautiful! Pretty soon I will put up some new pictures of it, so then you can see what I mean! For the most part I love the food, they eat way differently here then we do back at the states, breakfast is small, lunch is huge, and supper is medium sized. We usually have fresh fruit juice for breakfast, and eggs and rice with of course bread. There is bread at every meal. Which I absolutely love! Of course there are some days when we get something really yucky for breakfast. Like a half of an avocado, peeled and de pitted, or an egg that has a really runny yolk and tomatoes cooke in butter. I hate both of those, so it is sort of hard to choke that down! But for the most part I love the food! They have the best ice cream and cake! It is to die for! It is a good thing that we walk almost everywhere! But there are times when we need to get a taxi, and then you better be praying that you will make it to your destination! If it is a two lane road they make it a three lane road or even four, just depending on what they feel like. The taxis are these really little european cars that are like a little tin can on wheels. No one follows the traffic laws, they don't stop unless they have too, they just honk to let everyone know that they are coming through the intersection, and they honk when they are mad, or they see someone that they know, or they want to go around someone, or just because they feel like honking! It is crazy! We have almost been broad sided like a million times! At first I was really nervous whenever I got in the taxis, but after a while you get used to it. I am having so much fun! Our group of four, Olivia, Andrew, Callie and I have meshed really well! That is really exciting! So we have had a lot of fun just hanging out and exploring Arequipa, and we have fun at school as well! We are all in class together so that is nice! So thank you to everyone who is praying, you can pray that we all learn spanish quickly, and that we don't have a hard time going through culture shock. Homesickness is normal, but pray that it is extremely mild and that we will be able to handle it easily! Thank you so much!

Crazy!

2009-03-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

So after we landed in Arequipa, at 5:30 in the morning! Sarah picked us up at the airport. We drove to her house and ate some breakfast, took about an hour nap and left to go meet our host family and see where we were going to live for the next three months. Our family has a rather large house, we actually have our own apartment that is on the roof. That is really nice because we have a lot more privacy then other people do. I am also happy because I get to live with Callie. We get along really well and it is nice to have someone to talk to! We started language school yesterday we have class for four hours with a ten minute break in the middle, so it is actually four hours and ten minutes. The first two hours is grammer and book work. Then the last two hours is conversation so what we learned in the first session we use in the second, which is really nice because then you actually remember it! And we have to use it when we get back to our house as well so that we can attempt to speak to our host family. Callie had three years of spanish in highschool, so she does better then I do. But we are able to communicate fairly well. We asked our familia if they wanted us to make them food from Estados Unidos (United States) if you say America they get really confused because they live in America as well! They said yes so then we were both like, oh no! What do we eat at home that is actually our food not food we stole from other countries! Well we figured out that french toast was a good one! So the next night we made french toast and bacon for cena (supper) we were both so nervous! We wanted them to like it so bad! They were also very excited to see what we would make. Senora Mariela, our host mother, was in the kitchen watching us with what I assumed was a mix of fascination and worry! She was trying to figure out what we were making! So the big moment came and we carried the food into the big dinning room. They have to places that they eat; in the kitchen they have a small round table that for the most part they eat every meal at because no one eats at the same time. Then they eat for special occasions and on Sunday in the big fancy dinning room. So apparantly for our food it was special enough for them to eat it in the big fancy dinning room. Anyway, we brought the food out and they were all sitting there in anticipation, and all I could think was, they are going to hate this and try to act like they like it so that they don't hurt our feelings! Much like we do when they give us food that we really don't care for, like a plain avacado for breakfast! But they actually liked it! Senor Manuel, our host father ate like 6 pieces, and like a pound of bacon! We were so excited!! Then on Sunday Callie and I decided to do our laundry, which we have to do by hand! That is something I have never done. It was so funny! Callie and I were laughing so hard because we didn't know what we were doing! We got it all done, and then luged our wet laundry up two flights of steps to our apartment on the roof. We had wet clothes hanging all over in our apartment! So we had all of the windows opened hoping that our clothes would dry faster! Well today was the first day that some of our clothes were dry. And our jeans are still drying! All of our clothes are really crusty and we think that maybe we didn't rinse them very well! So next time we are going to ask our familys hired help to show us how to do it! Almost every family here has someone hired to cook and clean and do laundry for them! It is a very respectable position to hold and also very normal. It is a new thought for me to see hired help all of the time. Every house has like what you could call maids quarters. I am so excited to see what new things will happen and what else I will learn! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and supporting me!

I am in Peru!!!!!

2009-02-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh!! I am so excited that I am in Arequipa, Peru! The flight out here was murder! But it has been so much fun! For the last two days we have been exploring Arequipa and I absolutely love this city! All of the 40/40s are now together and so far it looks like we will make a really good team! I will update this soon but I have to go now! I love everyone and thank you to everyone for all of the prayers and support that I have received!

No Way!!

2009-02-15T19:23:00.000-08:00

So tonight at church they had a going away party for me and the other couple who will be going to Peru, Brad and Michelle. It was a really nice time. I really enjoyed it! And how cool is this?! I was praying this morning saying, "Ok God, I only have a week until I go and I still have to pay off the bill for my shots and pay for any food while I am traveling, and the travelers tax when I get to Peru, and really God I just need a miracle!" Well tonight I just got a whole bunch of people that gave me one time gifts and several people said that they would be supporting me monthly they just haven't set it up yet! I was so excited!! And wow! God answers prayers really fast!!!

Support

2009-02-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

So I am supposed to have $15000 dollars raised for the 27 months that I will be in Peru. Sounds like a lot. I just about choked when they told me. But when you break it down, that is only $555.55 a month for me to live on. That is it, that covers everything, clothes, food, shelter, health insurance, transportation, and anything else that I need. You definitely can't live in the states on that. It would barely cover rent if you were lucky! But here is the AWESOME thing; I sent out support letters the week of January 20th, and as of today, I only need $5000 more dollars, roughly 7 more people to sponsor me $30 a month or give a one time gift of $555.55! How AWESOME is our God!!?? I am so excited and I am very confident that he will provide the rest of the money I need! Praise God!

Real info

2009-01-27T18:40:00.000-08:00

Ok so by popular request here is a account of what I will be doing in Peru. On the 23rd of February I will fly out of Boise Idaho and head for Peru! I found a really cheap ticket, and so my flight time is not the best. All together the flight will be 23 hours. I will be spending 2 nights in airports. Thank goodness I will not be alone! Callie, one of the girls I will be living with will be traveling with me. When we get to Lima Peru, we have a connecting flight to Arequipa which is where we will live for the next 3 months. Both Callie and I will get to be in the same house for this part of the training process. We will be living with a spanish speaking family and going to language school every day. So in order to get salt passed at the table, we will have to learn to speak Spanish! After the 3 months of language training, and after we are masters of the Spanish language (hopefully) we will then move to Pucallpa Peru, where for the next 6 months we will be in missionary training. Basically they will teach us how to effectively reach people, what we need to know about the culture and survival training. Throughout all of this training I will be with Callie, and also with the rest of my cluster support group. Well let me explain what that is. There are three phases to the 40/40 project. Oh man now I have to explain that too! OK bare with me; the 40/40 project is planned to be 40 single American adults who love God, and 40 single Peruvian adults who love God being paired up into gender specific teams. So I will be teamed up with one Peruvian girl and we will be working together as a team. The cluster support group is designed to be like a family. There will be a couple, in my case Tyson and Tracy and their little boy Malakai, who will be "parents" to a group of 40/40s. This "family" will all live together for the duration of our deployment. So I will be living with Tyson, Tracy, their son Malakai, and Callie, Olivia, and Andrew and then whoever our Peruvian team mates are. We will meet them when we all arrive in Peru. I hope that makes sense. So back to what I was saying before! After the 6 months of training is over, we will be deployed to Puerto Maldonado. Then my job will be to go out into the community with my Peruvian team mate and plant 3 churches. Doesn't sound to hard, right? Well all I can say is that is why God is a God of miracles!! I hope that this helps to explain everything. I will try harder to keep my blog updated. I have been so busy lately with all of the meetings and doctors appointments (for vaccinations and to make sure I am really healthy) and trainings and everything else, it is hard for me to remember to do this as well. Plus I am new at blogging! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me! And I was officially approved by the committee so now the only thing standing in my way is money. Continue praying that God will work out even more miracles and money will just come pouring in!!

Giving it up

2009-01-15T12:00:00.000-08:00

So I am going to sell my car. Which was a somewhat difficult decision for me. I had just about payed it off and now I have to turn around and sell it! I haven't even had a chance to drive it yet. I was going to pay it off before I drove it because I didn't want to have to pay for full coverage insurance. I was getting so excited because it is a cute little car that is a stick shift and I absolutely love stick shift, or manual transmission as my dad says!! But God said Wendy you are going to Peru. And I just kept on thinking maybe I can just pay it off somehow while I am gone and then I can drive it when I come back. Well the more I prayed about it, the more I felt God telling me to sell it, so now I am and to be honest, I really am not that sad anymore. Everyday I get more and more excited about going to Peru, seriously if I could I would jump on the next flight out today. I guess that is a good way to know that I am doing what God wants. I have such a peace and joy about everything now!

Approval!!

2009-01-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

Hooray!! I was approved by Brian the head guy so now all I have to do is be approved by the committee and then get the money and I will be off to Peru!!! I am so excited!!! I can't wait to get down there. It will be nice to be in the warm weather too. I guess that it is summer down there right now, so it will definitely be a climate change! Continue to pray for me I am going to need all of the prayer I can get.

Here I am!

2009-01-08T18:14:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone!! I can't believe how God has been working in my life! to be honest I really don't know why he chose me of all people, but I am so excited to be used by God. One week ago I was arguing with Him and saying that I would never in a million years go down to Peru for two years. Now I would jump on the next flight there if I could! I don't even know the peruvian people and I already have a love for them. I am so excited to go down there and start ministering to them! So I deffinately need all of the prayers I can get. I am supposed to have 15,000 dollars to go. They want me to have half in my account by the time I leave and the rest of it pledged. God will deffinately have to be working out some miracles! But that is something he specializes in. I am anxious to see how he works this all out. And I ask that all of you be in prayer for me and the rest of the team that will be down there. Also if you feel led to give financially please do. I know that you will be blessed no matter how you give! I will be doing my best to keep everyone posted. Be in prayer for the 25th especially because that is my interview to be officially approved. Love in Christ,

Wendy